gingerninja

Hey thanks for all the comments guys, nice to read on a morning.

My new tapers came this morning, gotta go get them from the post office tomorrow.

One of my ears bled this morning, kinda weird as the blood was such a bright red and it dripped off my lobe. its fine tho and i have in my ears jewellery at 3mm.

then the day went bad.

i came home from work had a bath, did my hair & make up, put on some nice underwear and lit some candles, and started making tea (my boyf was meant to be coming round)

and he hasnt shown, he hasnt even rang !!!

I am sooooo soooo gutted, things have been a bit strange the last 5 days or so and he has been having to do other things when we are meant to be seeing each other, i dnt think there is someone else, i just think he is

1 - taking me for granted
2 - maybe fed up of me.

Also i am pannicking that something has happened to his dad as he is still in hospital, he has a lot on his plate at the minute but he cant push me away and let me wonder whats going on.

Either way ive cried my eyes out all night as i just dnt know what to do, i love him with all my heart but i cant cope with the amount of ups and downs our relationship has.

I dnt seem to have a life anymore, i never go anywhere and when im not with him i sit in on my own. I miss being an individual, when we do get together and go out or stay in its amazing, i just wish we had more of a steady level instead of right up or really down.

My friend came round and told me what i know i should do but i want to try get it back on track and have it work as we do have something real special. Its just how do you go about saying how you feel without it ending up in an argument.

why is it so fucking hard to meet someone and live happily ever after.

It boils my piss !!!

i dont want to be without him, but i have to do what is right.

However on a lighter note my friend and i ate the special tea i cooked !! hahaha