ginacherry

I have been in a weird mood. The kind you really cant shake, the slow rattle of something that just constantly teases your brain..it is best to leave things for a while and then come back, put them in perspective you know? You ever feel stupid? Like incredibly stupid? Perhaps I keep setting myself up and it is bound to happen- I dont know how to explain it, sometimes it is beyond anything I can control and in those instances of pure joy and delight, I loose my sense of reason. Why do we always want that which we can not have, that which we do not deserve, that which taxes our sense of self to slow oblivionbeyond repair if we are not careful? Funny how I use to think that these were the dilemmas of my youth, the 20 year old who languished and basked in the sun of any sort of attention, however, the gut, the instinct, the chemistry has no boundaries, makes no time tables for a such matters..and to those that never had the luxury of such divine rights and fancy of a carefree existence, it is all the more mysterious, all the more intense.all the more everythingyou can almost feel it ..even beyond the borders of the unreal..I think I give too much sometimes..am too honestbrutal..too nicehahhaha..he said ..yeah too niceyeahbut I have n regrets and this too shall passss.I only wishwell.lots.there I go again..just ignore me.I will eventually go away until your memory of me slowly drifts into the backdrop of something less familiar.