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Sunday Jan 02, 2005

Jan 2, 2005
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here on this eve of new yearness.

this year. oh this year.
started out making out for 5 minutes with a boy i loved.
i am guessing it won't end as romantically.

this year has hardened me. i feel more grown up, tougher, rough around the edges. i feel more cynical. smiling has taken a back seat to being pessimistic.

i was always a little caustic. but now, i feel more so.

and that is dumb.

i always am analyzing my life. analyzing why i am alive, what i should do with my life, why i should do what i do, why i am the way i am and all that crap.
i need to quit doing that.

it's annoying. and very un-dude.

i need to relax. go with the flow.
life is not about analyzing all the damn time. it's about living and having fun and loving and getting hurt, but wiping the dust and blood off your face and laughing about it down the line.

my 1 new year's resolution is to "fuck it, dude."
no... i am not becoming a slut.

i need to relax, go with the flow. enjoy this journey, cause who knows when it may end. and why do i always think about death? always. is that nor-MAL? do other people think about death all the time? do you?
babybeezer:
what a difference a year can make. you can come go with the flow with me. I'm a flower. hehe. flow-er. not flower. oh man.

if all goes to plan I'll see you this weekend.
xoxo

hope 2005 rules for you.
Jan 2, 2005
takeshi21:
I think these are all wonderful things to aspire for at any stage in life. I've been in a prolonged period of stress because of work and money and all the other stupid things life throws your way. And during that time I'm constantly analyzing where I am, what I'm doing, where I should be, and how I get there. By doing so, I believe I'm missing out on much of life. So this summer I took up surfing and tried to find the dude-ness of it all, or at least take the first steps toward this discovery.

And no, I don't think most people always think about death. Only a few of us are dumb enough to do that while life is flying by. It's hard, but I'm trying to not be so obsessed with a future I know nothing about. smile
Jan 2, 2005

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