last night was interesting.
couldn't make it to la, because the world has it out for me currently.
had a night... full of wallowing.
which i don't mind so much. wallowing can be kinda fun. sorta.
i had some good conversation, with real people who really care about me. it's nice to know that i have some really amazing friends. some analyzing of selves. a lot on me.
i always throw myself totally into relationships, so much so that i lose myself and adapt to the other person. i am like this blank canvas that is just begging to have a beautiful work of art painted on me. but as soon as it's over i just disappear into the wood-work. that is the way i like it... or that is the way it is.
all i can do is accept the way i am. and i do. and i like being sad. i like feeling alone, and i like feeling slightly insane. i like feeling alone in this world, cause it's the basic truth of the matter, and i don't want to lie to myself about it. i don't want to deny myself.
it's hard to be positive... and i always have the positive face on. oh yeah, i am great. life is good. but it's not. and it never will be. but that's what makes the happy moments amazing.
knowing that they are fleeting just like everything else.
couldn't make it to la, because the world has it out for me currently.
had a night... full of wallowing.
which i don't mind so much. wallowing can be kinda fun. sorta.
i had some good conversation, with real people who really care about me. it's nice to know that i have some really amazing friends. some analyzing of selves. a lot on me.
i always throw myself totally into relationships, so much so that i lose myself and adapt to the other person. i am like this blank canvas that is just begging to have a beautiful work of art painted on me. but as soon as it's over i just disappear into the wood-work. that is the way i like it... or that is the way it is.
all i can do is accept the way i am. and i do. and i like being sad. i like feeling alone, and i like feeling slightly insane. i like feeling alone in this world, cause it's the basic truth of the matter, and i don't want to lie to myself about it. i don't want to deny myself.
it's hard to be positive... and i always have the positive face on. oh yeah, i am great. life is good. but it's not. and it never will be. but that's what makes the happy moments amazing.
knowing that they are fleeting just like everything else.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
santivo:
Its because you're a fish!! I have a tendancy to fall into the same traps. To some twisted degree I enjoy my solitude and my reality. Keep in mind that you are the Sun of your own universe. You plot out the planets and set thier rotation. Keep your chin up....
takeshi21:
Happy New Year!