giddyiguana

Yeah, yeah, I know. Two entries for the entire month of May. I suck, I know, but I'm tired of making excuses every time, too. So if you don't see any more updates until, say, late July, just know that I'm still stuck in my dead-end job as a tire salesman; I still don't know where I'm going to be in August; my parents are both still hangin' on; my cat, dog, and iguana are still putting up with me; I'm still pathetically single; and SionKali is still the most wonderful woman on Earth.

Well, Mom is home now, obviously. And my diet and exercise program has been set back MONTHS as a result.

I don't know if this is a regional phenomenon or not, but here in the Deep South, births, holidays, graduations, engagements, weddings, illnesses, relocations, and even funerals are all marked by the Presentation of the Covered Dish. Since Mom is one of the major local practitioners of this custom (sometimes I think she cooks for everyone else in town with more regularity than she cooks for US), the whole town of Barnwell apparently viewed this as their chance to return the favor...or perhaps get their revenge. No sooner did Mom get home than we were deluged with food. I think Mom was as overwhelmed by it all as I was! Baked chicken, chicken and dumplings, chicken and rice, chicken casseroles, hamburger and bean casseroles, potatoes, green beans, apple cake, peach cobbler, congealed salads, banana puddings...our refrigerator runneth over. We STILL haven't completely dug our way back out from under Food Mountain. Granted, it's ALL good...but I've ballooned all the way back up to 240 as a result of playing the role of Human Food Disposal the last couple of weeks. Thanks, citizens of Barnwell.

Oh, and speaking of Mom...well, good news, bad news. She's been home for a while now and seems to be feeling much better, but she just had more tests run today. Her gall bladder (which previous tests had shown was full of stones) is getting infected, and her potassium levels are WAY off again. (Why potassium levels matter, I don't know; but the doctor sure seemed concerned about it.) So now she's back on some big-ass white horse pills of some sort and has to submit to even MORE tests soon. When does it all end???

Oh, and I ran the shop alone all week last week while the bosses were away on 'vacation'. Shockingly enough, the roof didn't cave in, thousands of dollars' worth of cash and inventory didn't turn up missing, customers didn't flee en masse, and no one quit or got fired. The phones got answered, service calls were completed, the paperwork got done, deliveries were made, the shop stayed clean, and the store made money. So will someone PLEASE justify for me again the fact that these 'bosses' still get paid the big bucks while I continue to take home a lousy $275 paycheck every Thursday for the 54+ hours a week I spend there?

Well, I could waste more of my time (and yours), but honestly there's not much else worth mentioning. My existence has, if anything, become more mundane lately, and attempting to keep this journal has just made me realize that. Get up, shower, put on uniform, brush teeth, go to work, get annoyed, leave work, go feed ducks, go home, play with pets, watch cartoons, play with computer, strip, go to bed...sleep six and a half hours, repeat. The occasional turn of a calendar page and the increasingly-unbearable South Carolina heat are the only proof I have that time is even progressing at all. Otherwise, no one could convince me I'm not just reliving the same shitty Monday, "Groundhog Day"-style, over and over again, and so on ad infinitum.

But what am I complaining about? I've got a day off tomorrow! My first non-Sunday, non-holiday, non-illness-related day off since last July 7th! Now, if someone--anyone--would just CALL ME BACK, it could be a truly memorable event....

Well, stay tuned. Even if you don't hear from me again for a couple of months.