So this week's @bloghomework is one wherein we have been tasked with laying on the cheese. Lame jokes, eh @rambo ? All I can say is, "You asked for it!"
Lame Joke #1
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender walks up to the horse and says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
Lame Joke #2
Q: Why are pool tables green?
A: If someone kept whacking your balls you'd be green too.
Lame Joke #3
Q: Why are fire engines red?
A: If someone tugged on your hose all day you'd be red too.
Lame Joke #4
Q: What do you call a quadruple amputee who's lying on your floor?
A: Matt
Lame Joke #5
Q: What do you call a quadruple amputee who hangs on a wall?
A: Art
Lame Joke #6
Q: What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
A: Snowballs
Lame Joke #7
Q: What's a word that starts with "F" and ends with "U-C-K"?
A: "firetruck"
Lame Joke #8: The Grand Finale
A guy walks into a bar after a long day.
There is no one else in the bar except the bartender.
The bartender comes over and takes the guy's drink order.
The bartender walks to the other end of the bar to draw a Guinness.
All of a sudden the guy hears a voice say, "That's a great tie!"
The guy looks over both shoulders. Nope. There's no one else there.
The bartender comes back with the beer and then goes back to the other end of the bar, out of earshot.
"And that shirt is really nice, too!"
The guy is completely baffled. After a couple minutes he convinces himself that it's the TV.
"I LOVE your cologne!" the voice says.
The guy jumps off his stool and yells, "OK THAT'S IT! WHO'S SAYING THAT??"
The bartender comes over and says, "Pardon me, sir, but is there a problem?"
"You're going to think I'm crazy," says the guy, "but I keep hearing a voice making comments about my clothes, my tie, even my cologne."
"Oh," says the bartender, "that. That's the peanuts."
"The peanuts?" the guy asks.
"Yeah," the bartender says. "They're complimentary."
...and so ends my blog homework for another week.
