i had a panic attack (or what we call them anyway) last night for the first time since i can remember (probably last summer)
but it was probably the first time i had been around a bunch of people in a controlled group setting in which i was not in a role or assigned a task, therefore, didnt know what to do, and started to panic.
i started getting antsy and playing with assorted items in my jacket pocket. and then i started walking really slow and away from the group. by the time we made it 4 blocks i told Dro I had to leave, i didnt even say goodbye to anyone not even jen and it was her birthday - i just vanished.
it took about 2 hours until i was myself again. I was fed a ton of fries and booze by justin at a very queit bar with no one in it and a really nice bar tender who had on the blues brothers and gave of 3 of the 6 drinks with out a charge becasue it was a slow day and he said everyone thought his place was mcdonalds ordering cheeseburgers and diet coke all day. He was pleased becasue when he asked us if we wanted drinks i loudly exclaimed yes and was excited about it. he cahtted with me everytime justin went out to smoke. and he had a very heavy hand on the booze too. I watched him pour and the the ratio was alitte ice 75% booze and the rest mixer. my kinda guy. I'll go back there again and soon!
other than that I am getting sleepy from the allergy meds i took. which meansi might go back to sleep and get my 14 hours in...
but it was probably the first time i had been around a bunch of people in a controlled group setting in which i was not in a role or assigned a task, therefore, didnt know what to do, and started to panic.
i started getting antsy and playing with assorted items in my jacket pocket. and then i started walking really slow and away from the group. by the time we made it 4 blocks i told Dro I had to leave, i didnt even say goodbye to anyone not even jen and it was her birthday - i just vanished.
it took about 2 hours until i was myself again. I was fed a ton of fries and booze by justin at a very queit bar with no one in it and a really nice bar tender who had on the blues brothers and gave of 3 of the 6 drinks with out a charge becasue it was a slow day and he said everyone thought his place was mcdonalds ordering cheeseburgers and diet coke all day. He was pleased becasue when he asked us if we wanted drinks i loudly exclaimed yes and was excited about it. he cahtted with me everytime justin went out to smoke. and he had a very heavy hand on the booze too. I watched him pour and the the ratio was alitte ice 75% booze and the rest mixer. my kinda guy. I'll go back there again and soon!
other than that I am getting sleepy from the allergy meds i took. which meansi might go back to sleep and get my 14 hours in...
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lastwitness:
i open to meeting anyone..i dunnno umm yea sure is she on here or myspace? got a pic of her? has she even seen mine or know i exist?
anonym:
Yeah, panic attacks suck. I'm sorry hun. I used to get them all the time in high school so I know where you're coming from. They should make an inhaler or something for them with a mild tranquilizer that numbs you out for 30 minutes until you calm down. Something like that anyways.
