Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

gangstaswan

Mule Capital of the World

Member Since 2005

Followers 76 Following 72

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Saturday Oct 20, 2007

Oct 20, 2007
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Sadly, I think this may be the highlight of my week:



Although, "The Jerk" is on Comedy Central right now.

OK so, the coworker thing (along with all the wonderful advice) got me thinking. I do have learning to do. I talked to my supervisor and he said he's not sure what he should teach me because it's all really just little things. After asking a few dozen questions, I suggested I would start looking at other designs (magazines, etc.) then ask him how to create them. He thought it was a good idea.

And the project I was working on that got I really didn't get to design got all redesigned any way and I got to give some input. It looks really awesome. I couldn't completely finish it because we didn't have all the stories turned in. I talked to the designer and copy editor who are on today and told 'em what to do in case the story's too short. I hope it doesn't get screwed up 'cause I really liked what we came up with in the end.


Last night proved to be interesting. My brother asked me to buy him alcohol. I said no. Them my 18-year-old cousin and his gf showed up. The three started getting drunk then the cousin and gf got into a fight. They both left and my bro chased 'em down and he's panicking because it's this huge thing (so he thinks). My cousin punched a garage and scrapped up his hand pretty bad. My bro kept begging me to help and I said no. Why? Because he relies on me too much. He should take responsibility. Any way, the cousin and gf come back. I give both of them water and look at the cousin's hand. Two of his knuckles are pretty swollen. We iced it and the swelling went down, but I was prepared to take him to the ER in case he broke it.

Turns out my cousin is a jealous boy (he gets it from his dad). My bro and the gf were sitting on the bed and the cousin freaked. I talked to the girl and told her I wouldn't put up with it and she shouldn't cry because he's not worth it. I also told her, "If you need me to give him a beat down, I can. He wasn't always twice my size." She thought I was a little funny.

I also lectured my cousin. I asked him how often he freaks out like that. He said about five times. I told him if I were his gf I would be scared and leave because I deserve better. I hope I got through to him.

In the mean time my brother is really angry with me. He asked to borrow $20 for his date tonight. I said no. Again he needs to learn to budget. He's getting more than a grand each month. He hasn't been looking for a job (he plays halo 2 all day) so why should I finance him? And he's angry I didn't take care of the problem last night. I told him, "I'm your roommate and not responsible for you." He told me to fuck off. Fine.

I'm not feeling like celebrating the holidays. I usually enjoy all the Halloween shows and the decorations but this year I just don't wanna do it. Then I start thinkin' about Thanksgiving. I don't want to go home. I don't want to celebrate it. Then I think about Christmas. I know my family is gonna start asking what I want and I really feel like telling them I only want one thing: RS.

Maybe it's just because I'm so lonely. Maybe it's because I made him promise me we could celebrate at home together this year. I spent all day yesterday in bed. I just didn't feel like facing the world. I still don't. I miss him and I'm so hurt. He went from loving me so much he couldn't share to suddenly he has a new gf. It's been seven months. Why can't I let go? (I can hear the question; Seven months isn't too soon to get a gf. He's had her from at least June, I suspect. He told me he didn't want to talk to me again in May. I have to wonder if he broke up with me in March because of her or if he left in May because of her.)

Part of me feel like he'll come back. At night when I go to bed, I do my best to convince myself that's not true. But then I have dreams of him coming back or even worse ones like I had Thursday night:

I was asleep in my bed and something jumped into it. I woke up and it was his cat. I exclaimed, "Oh Chutney!" I hugged her and started crying into her fur and she meowed like everything would be OK.



The dreams with her kill me. I miss her so much, more than I miss him.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
surlyclown:
Yeah, dealing with family can be quite nerveracking. I love Halloween my own self and it's been slipping away, cause I've been so stressed out. I think you're doing the right thing with your brother. Honesty and practicality is better than going along with a situation that's making you crazy and likely will make you feel twice as worse if you let it.
Oct 22, 2007
baudot:
Oh, another orgy?
Ho hum.
Oct 27, 2007

More Blogs

  • 10.09.11
    4

    Sunday Oct 09, 2011

    Read More
  • 07.07.11
    7

    Thursday Jul 07, 2011

    Me: Does this new bra make my boobs look smaller? Boyfriend: You'r…
  • 04.22.11
    5

    Friday Apr 22, 2011

    Read More
  • 12.11.10
    16

    Saturday Dec 11, 2010

    Read More
  • 11.01.10
    8

    Monday Nov 01, 2010

    Read More
  • 09.25.10
    4

    Saturday Sep 25, 2010

    "Later after she'd been with the Gangster, she would realize how litt…
  • 09.17.10
    5

    Friday Sep 17, 2010

    On days like today I miss you brushing my hair aside so you could kis…
  • 04.17.10
    11

    Saturday Apr 17, 2010

    Who has two thumbs and got a raise this week? This lass. In other …
  • 03.26.10
    41

    Friday Mar 26, 2010

    I'm so burned out. I've made multiple mistakes at work this week.…
  • 02.18.10
    19

    Friday Feb 19, 2010

    This isn't the journal I would have wanted to post this morning. …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
4
months
3
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,628 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 15,034,690 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,655,436 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2026

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo