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gangstaswan

Mule Capital of the World

Member Since 2005

Followers 76 Following 72

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Friday Mar 23, 2007

Mar 23, 2007
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I don't know what little fire got into me but I have been the biggest bitch since Monday. I think something just snapped. I'm honestly super tired of taking one for the team.

See, a server decided she couldn't work her shift Monday morning (see my last journal). Because she's the boss' pet, the rest of us must pick up the slack. I got drunk thanks to Project Krewe and Blue Monday and since then I just haven't filtered anything coming out of my mouth.

Examples:

Yesterday during the morning shift the same stupid server from above asked if she could be first off because she had to deal with her son's little league game. She's apparently team mom and hadn't bought the snacks yet. If you knew you had to work, wouldn't you do that ahead of time? Any who, I told her no, I have my own shit to do and need to be first off. She was a bitch to me the rest of the shift. This server then told the AM she thinks I have sway over the AM and that she'd need to talk to the owner about the situation. Pot, kettle, black, etc. I told the AM to go ahead and fire me, but have fun with all the newbies as I'm the only strong server left.

I ran my errands then went home and had a good talk with garagedelfuego about work stuff (no ironed-out details just yet, gentle readers). Then went back to the restaurant.

Halfway through my shift, a table came in and ordered a mocha, an espresso with milk and a tiramisu. There is no button for "espresso with milk," so I put a see server on it. I go over to the bartender as he's making the mocha and tell him what the see server is. I repeat myself three times and I'm getting frustrated because he's slurring his English on purpose (I honestly rarely know what the fuck he's saying). So I turn to the hostess who also speaks Spanish and ask her translate for me. Then the bartender starts going off about how we servers treat him like he's stupid. I just walked away and talked to the AM. When the hostess asked me about it later I explained that I don't tip the bartender out to be snippy with me. I would understand if I'm not speaking clearly but he was being stupid. The AM asked if it was because he was waiting on me to make the espresso. I explained that he hadn't even started it yet. How the fuck could he be so upset.

Oh and by the way it's"eSpresso," not "eXpresso." Every table that ordered one yesterday put an "X" in it and it took everything I had not to correct them.

My ears are bothering me big time. I think it's contributing to the bitchiness.

Spoiler because I want semi privacy but I need to get this shit off my chest.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I don't know how things are with RS. I used our rule about kissing other people and he didn't react well. I didn't expect him to be giggles and sunshine, but I also didn't expect him to abolish the rule all together. I wish I had stood up and said, "Look, I want it all and you'll give it to me." But I know that's not how it would be.
I'm feeling petulant because I miss my toy and because I want to have my fucking cake and eat it too. It's affecting our sex life, whether he knows it or not.

RS gave me a massage last night.

See:


I hoped it would relax me enough to want sex. It didn't. It got him turned on but he's been bugging me about wanting to tear into me since we agreed to get rid of the rule, therefore it was no surprise. That seriously bothers me, he wants to tear into me but he acts like I'm gonna break. I want bruises and scratch marks. My heart wanted it so badly but my body didn't. *pout*

He's been putting effort into us all of a sudden and it bugs me. It's like you should want to put effort into this because you want to, not because you're feeling threatened by someone who I couldn't have a relationship with. He's always said things like how much he loves me and I don't doubt it, it's just that I feel so apathetic now. I feel like he's smuggly thinking to himself, "Ha! I have her. She chose me. In your face, asshole." But he should realize this is not my ideal situation. He pressed my hand and I had to make a choice. The whole situation frustrates me so much I want to cry, which I did. He tried comforting me but he doesn't realize he's the one upsetting me.

Until he took my toy away I was soooo into fucking RS. Kissing another boy made me want him all the more. It got me hot and bothered but now I just don't fucking care.

Gawd this is awful.

OK, I'm done with this subject.



For getting through all that here are some pictures:

RS and my "little bro;" RS is 5'11", bro is 6'6".


My sister looking very much like the hormonally depressed teenager she is and my brother being the butthead he truly is.


Mom and sister.

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
baudot:
I dread the power mope, and their one eyed stare.
Mar 23, 2007
oryon:
stop being a bitch and go get you some.

i have a "little bro" too. aka 6'3"
Mar 23, 2007

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