I have a mountain of things to do before I move in three weeks, so of course that means that I've been hunched over the computer, hiding from the madness and not really accomplishing a damn thing towards the voyage home. Today, I will change that.
Although I haven't made much headway on sorting and packing and frowning at all the crap I've accumulated, I... Read More
I can't be happy. I won't let myself be happy. I don't know why. I just realized this over the past week. I get close to the brass ring and I do something to fuck myself up. Why? What is going on here? What has triggered this masochistic streak in me?
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Especially the "I'm not sure I"m real" part. Depression makes me feel so alienated that I wonder if I'm even human.
I'm not sure what the block is for myself, but I think I oversimplify things. I don't think there's one block or one thing that I'm missing. I think there's a whole complicated, convoluted knot of reasons why I'm so depressed.
lol your answers to my survey blog were hillarious! But I know how you feel sometimes sweets! I'm only 20 and feel in a rut sometimes but you know everything can always be fixed
It feels like my brain is using mucus as hired muscle to push my eyes out of the neighborhood. I'm not sure what my eyes did to anger my brain, but the battle for territory is getting brutal.
I'm not sure how it works, but when one has a cold, I've found that the human head is capable of holding approximately 8 gallons of snot.... Read More
The human spirit is amazing, you can adapt to pretty much anything. I'm used to it now, and it helps that I'm close to public transportation. I have several 'regular' cab drivers who I can count on whenever I need them. I even have one who brings me the paper when he picks me up and a cup of coffee. He even keeps a pack of my brand cigs in his cab in case of emergencies!
Stop!
I wanna go home... take off this uniform and leave the show...
And I'm waiting in this cell because I have to know... have I been guilty all this time?
I've managed to pull myself out of bed, for now. I'm still stuck in a Xanax induced haze. It's wearing off, but slowly. I know the routine. I'll shake it off within the hour. Until then, my focus is sketchy at best. I'm trying to... Read More
It's been quite cold in New York. I slept last night with a pair of leggings under a pair of sweatpants, a long-sleeved tee under a sweatshirt, and my comforter.
And as for what's to come... you can't know. You have to let those questions go.
Dude, don't let the faux-hemians take over your brain!!! There is light at the end of your tunnel and you know when you'll find it. Right now, it's a one day at a time phenomenon. Just keep moving forward and remember to breathe. (oh, and bathe once in a while ) more later.....
I have, over the past few years, posted this video a few times... and it seems incredibly likely that I'll post the bastard a few times more before I'm done with it. Can't help it. It rocks.
What can be better than Claypool backed by Paulo Baldi (bad-fucking-ass!) on drums, Skerik rocking the sax, Mike Dillon on various modes of percussion, and Gabbi LaLa being... Read More
I spent the bulk of my day at work, cowering over my desk, hoodie up, blocking the view of my eyes from the people I've spent my weekdays with for nearly a year and a half now. I didn't really want them to see the two, pinkish and glassy globes that rolled around in place of what used to be bright and... Read More
Whoa! Kudos to you for completing that! I enjoyed reading it tremendously, but afterwards thought ot myself that I'd never have the attention span to complete such a task myself. dmac <--- lame
74. What are you wearing?
Leopard print thong, a leather aviator's helmet, one sock, and a t-shirt that says "Who Farted?"
There is light at the end of your tunnel and you know when you'll find it. Right now, it's a one day at a time phenomenon. Just keep moving forward and remember to breathe. (oh, and bathe once in a while 
) more later.....
