The first letterI ever wrote to The Portland Mercury, which was published in their May 2nd, 2001 issue:
Apparently you're experiencing some confusion about the new Rachael Leigh Cook movie [Josie and the Pussycats, April 12]. I don't know what sort of addlepated formula you used to grade this film, but you pointy-headed niggling nabobs better straighten up and fly right.
Now, I'm too lazy to go back and quote you directly, but I remember you comparing Rachael Leigh Cook's acting talents to those of a lightly broiled trout [The exact quote was "exhibits a vast array of emotions as effectively as a clubbed trout."-Wm.]. You should get down on your KNEES and beg for FORGIVENESS before the awesome LIGHT that is Rachael Leigh Cook.
The bottom line is that you need movie critics that like movies. Almost all the reviews in your paper this week are negative--and almost all the positive ones are for obscure little films that will not attract a large audience. Hello!? Doesn't it seem obvious that your critics are looking for something that's not there? It's not that Hollywood is constantly sending out regurgitated pap, as your critics claim--it's that your critics are too high-falootin' to identify with the people they're reviewing FOR!
Apparently you're experiencing some confusion about the new Rachael Leigh Cook movie [Josie and the Pussycats, April 12]. I don't know what sort of addlepated formula you used to grade this film, but you pointy-headed niggling nabobs better straighten up and fly right.
Now, I'm too lazy to go back and quote you directly, but I remember you comparing Rachael Leigh Cook's acting talents to those of a lightly broiled trout [The exact quote was "exhibits a vast array of emotions as effectively as a clubbed trout."-Wm.]. You should get down on your KNEES and beg for FORGIVENESS before the awesome LIGHT that is Rachael Leigh Cook.
The bottom line is that you need movie critics that like movies. Almost all the reviews in your paper this week are negative--and almost all the positive ones are for obscure little films that will not attract a large audience. Hello!? Doesn't it seem obvious that your critics are looking for something that's not there? It's not that Hollywood is constantly sending out regurgitated pap, as your critics claim--it's that your critics are too high-falootin' to identify with the people they're reviewing FOR!