Been working from home for the last 6-7 months. They might bring us back but they've kinda said that it's more likely that we will have an option to stay home. In that change, I'm in a positon to make some changes that may impact my life and surroundings. It's been almost 9 years and Arizona still feels like a place I just live. I never WANT to be here. It's always a game of do I fit here in this moment? I usually just say yes even if I feel disconnected and disassociated from everything and everyone. Everything feels transactional. Tit for Tat. Dick Measuring. Fake. With the occasional real and true interaction. So I asked my supervisor if there was a possibility of me being able to take the job and go back east, back home, Detroit, Michigan. Away from the dead desert, back to seasons, actual lakes, greenery for 7-9 months a year, rain, lifelong friends, family. Get my money and head right then follow my dreams to Brooklyn, New York. The first place since the Army that felt right, felt home, felt like I belonged. None of this white washed culture, red state, conservative, cowboy/cowtown bullshit.
Funny though, I used to think going home was failure. I think, now though, it's a jumping off point. A place where I can reconnect and get my focus back. I really see it as a season switch mid life. Going from a long winter into anew spring. Ready to spring life back into my world. Probably gonna have to buy a house though. It's gonna be rough trying to find a place with the pibbles and I'm not gonna give up my baby girl Chica.
Truth be told, I always knew where I belonged, always knew this was a temporary spot. I'm just happy for the growth.