fuck

coming close to breaking down again. though at times things seem to be really strong, it turns out everything in my life is fragile. i knew i walked a line before. i knew that i was so very capable of fucking things up. but when you don't want to fuck things up its hard to keep old habits from intruding back into your life. things i never thought about things i never cared about are creeping back up on me. i'm not trying to have drama in my life and i'm trying to actuallly let someone in and hurts when old habits die hard now. hopefully things work out but in my life i'm prepared for the worst.

one foot out of the toilet but i still have one caught in the drain.