fred

mmm-mmm!

The thought that keeps running through my mind is to live on the edge that I've always been afraid of.... to abdicate everything familiar and comfortable, and rebuild my life from the ground up. I've never felt completely at home here, but my desire to leave always brings with it the discovery that things are never going to be drastically different, no matter how many miles you travel.

Then again, who's to blame me for trying?

I sympathize with what you're saying, though. It seems that you've reached the point in your life where you -thought- you'd have everything you needed, but then realized that it wasn't what you'd expect it to be.

Bah, I'm just talking out of my ass, mostly. Anyways, if you're interested in that documentary, you should watch it online here

I hear what you are saying about living near the fam or off to a new city. I have the same problem. I am near my family (cause I have a little one) but there are days when I dream of moving back to NYC. Actually that's every other day.
The question is can I accomplish what I need to in a small town? Are the opportunities missing or do I have to just create them?

Happy Birthday !!

gentoo is more of a pain in the ass to install than any other distro I have ever installed.

I've actually given up on it for now.

Each attempt took like 9 hours +. I gave up after the third try, and installed darwin instead, and then got bored of that and re-installed os x (I have jaguar)

I think my problem the third time of trying to install gentoo had to do with not choosing the right kernel modules for my ibook keyboard. I picked the ones they told me to and they don't work. anyway. I'm determined to install gentoo successfully, but I'm going to wait a week or two.

I have yellowdog(3.0) on my clamshell, and it's a lot more user friendly.
I'm putting debian on my pc. I had suse 7.2.

I've been reading up on the *bsds and thinking about trying one of them out on one of my herd.

anyway.
I'll be very happy when I defeat the gentoo istallation process...

Office space rules. It is like someone looked at Dilbert and said "That's good for a start but".

Polish up the resume' and keep your eye out. I don't know what you do but I have worked for 2 video game comapnies and it is sucha nice change from the standard rat race and I know their are several in the San Diego area (Sony On-line, Rockstar, and I think Midway), and as you travel north on the 5 you just keep finding more up through LA (Ok you may have to take the 405 at the Y)

BTW I left the pharmacy job to test video games for a living and I lover it still.

Good luck with everything.

P.S. how are the lungs?

good luck, hope the heater works. Keep a bottle of water by the bedside and drink some to help keep the body hydrated at night.

Are you still sick?

Drinks lots of water and juices, soups are good too. Don't stay in bad all day and try to take a short walk or two, nothing too far though, it will help loosen up the yuckyness in your chest. Try to take cough supressent only if you need them to sleep, especially if it is a productive cough.

I worked for 6 years in a pharmacy and I am asthmatic. between the two I do a very good job at reccomendations for chest problems. Any questions feel free to ask. Take care, get better.

sometimes it will take the body a while to clear things out of the lungs. Laying down will make it more noticable (I once slept for two weeks on the floor propped up at an angle so I could breath when I slept). Also when we sleep we tend to dry out, Some recomend sleeping with the covers over the nose and mouth, this allows for warmer air to be breathed and to recapture the moisture breathed out during the night, I can't do that but i have known people who had some success with that. You might also try a humidifier or vaporizer unless you have a lot of electronics in your room.

It sounds to have some of the same effects as asthma. There are a number of things that act like asthma and recently doctors have been turning to asthma treatments in non asthma patients. You might benefit from a short time use of either a bronco dialotor (opens the broncials fast) and or a Steroidal Anti-inflametory (reduses over all inflamation of the lungs).

Breathing diffaculty is one of those things that will hit a person on a psycological level. The "I'm going to die" feeling is common. I would call the doctor and explain exactly what you are going through, how long, and emphasize the fellings it gives you. Also cover what seems to make it go away. Ask him if short term inhalor use might benefit you.

Water works better then even prescription expectorants. Keep the water intake up. Hydration is of utmost importants when dealing with the lungs and sinuses. I prefer hydrocodone over codeine (active ingrediant in Vicodon - easier on stomach) and there are some cough syrups with it but if it can be avoided then that is best.

Hay old skool whats up? What does the image you have there means? Is it something with heaven and hell or something? Anyway I thing its cool
See you later

I admire your fortitude. Good night, sweet prince.

zzzz,
s

Better YET?

I never realy cared about my health (thats why I'm always sick). I hope you become better my friend now.

staring into space

blank wall

therapy/meditation

something gradually

emerges from the great void


ps. some new people on one of the board threads were posting on how much they missed the ads at the top of the sg pages(because there were some time problems associated with them for a while) so i enabled that setting in the preferences

now i am slightly more happy

and i agree that i find the ads more interesting than the art

I'd love to create games. Anyway Ihoped the book was liked by you and I wish I could read such a book but I can't read that easily. I am sooooo bored of reading no matter how much a book is interesting me.
Anyway good bye and have fun.

Sounds like an interesting read... I have a lot of respect already for carmack; the man is a programming god in my book. =)

The key isn't quitting imo, it's moderation. I also have a problem with that.... once I have one in me, I won't enjoy it until I have two. Two leads to three... and well, shit, I'm sure you know how the end of that story goes. =) Life is hard like that, though. Don't get too down on yourself...

I guess I'm in your hometown today.... you were right; the weather forecast is the same every fucking day!

Not square one. I don't believe that. Nothing is ever lost or ruined. Live is a step by step thing, Darlin'. Progressive. Hang in.
Wuv
s