frankmask

I'm not really sure. I don't like the idea that a large part of my personality seems to be tied directly into a neurological chemical imbalance. I don't like the Idea that there's really nothing I can do about it, and that all the trouble I've had with school all my life was caused by problems so deeply wired into my physical body that no amount of willpower would have been able to overcome them.

I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of myself. And I don't mean in a 'Corporate America Doesn't Own Me' kind of way.

I need a good counselor who understands this shit. So far my treatment has been a lot of impatience and such from my Dad, and a psycher who want's to start testing me on drugs and hasn't even mentioned anything to deal with my sudden case of emotional wreck. I suppose I should ask about that next time I see him.

I don't even really trust Doctors. Or rather, I know that this disorder is poorly understood by everyone, and I know that the most common treatment is to put someone on speed til they mello out. Never mind the side effects.

I'm good at so many things, and none of them seem to count. I've always barely scraped by at school, I've never had much interest in work, but I've got all these wonderful, useless skills and talents and nobody cares because you can't sell ideas and noone is buying unwritten stories.

I know I'm a good person, I know I'm intelligent. I know that I can do good work if you give me the right kind of job. But I keep failing, always, at everything, I'm never any good. Ever. My biggest success in life is putting on a pig roast.

Wow. Now I have a disability. It changes your perspective on things just a little.

I'm going to go paint on my walls now.