frankenhovey

We had some interesting drama surrounding my cousin this week.

I have a cousin whom I am very close with and he happens to be gay. He had a real difficult time with it for many years mostly due to other family members and a lot of closed minded people in our town. After years of therapy and moving to West Hollywood, he has finally become comfortable with who he is. Then something like this happens.

The easiest way is to carbon copy emails and blogs I recieved from him.




On Friday I received an email at work from my turbo-Christian Aunt Margaret in Georgia. It was a forward about how English should be the national American language and it included a list of Democratic senators that voted against such a law. I hadn't spoken to or heard from her in almost 10 years, so I responded telling her that I was insulted and deeply offended that she would choose to contact me again in such a way.

She responded the next day by email to apologize, but also said she did believe that English should be the national language. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from her on my cell phone. I didn't think I would call her back, but for some reason, I did.

The subsequent 45 minutes became a respectful but infuriating debate about homosexuality. I cannot comprehend the level of ignorance that she is operating from. But how do I compete with decades of ultra-conservative teachings in her southern Baptist church?

Here are some gems from my Sunday morning phone call...

"Bobby, can I ask you a question? ... Have you ever been raped?"

"When you're a teenager your hormones wreak havoc on your body, and when you're my age hormones wreak havoc on your body, but at my age they give you a pill to control it. I think they should create a pill for teenagers to take to help control their hormones..."

"We're fighting the war over there so we don't have to fight it here..."

"If the whole world were gay, how would we have children?"

"Jesus has SUCH a big heart..."

"If it's in the Bible, then it's true. Everything else is man-made, and watch-out..."

It was extremely frustrating, and I'm now finding out that after we hung up, she called my mother and told her she needed to be more involved in her childrens' lives. She's an awful woman, hiding her ignorance and hatred behind her misunderstood religion.

The worst part of it all (besides her making my Mom cry): she is a voter.





My cousin was really upset because she also told my Aunt (his mother) she was a bad mother and it was here fault my cousin is gay and my Aunt is a horrible Christian (which my aunt still cherishes)

I originally wanted to call Margaret myself and debate because I know from previous experience my knowledge of the bible is greater than hers (Gotta love a parochial shool background) and I confuse her in debates. But I realized it would be pointless because she is nucking futz. I instead called posted a couple of replies to my cousin. Here they are:



Well now that you have heard my enraged response over this via text message. Here is the response which is more thought out than the usual "Fuck that Bitch" response I sent earlier.

Since we were kids we knew something was wrong with her. Why do you thing we fucked with her so much? She has always been a running joke in our family. Not only is she evil, vile, ignorant, etc. but I also believe she is mentally ill.

This is the same woman who tried to convince my Mom I was sacrificing animals to Satan because I read a Stephen King book. She tried to convince Grandpa we were wire tapping his phone and poisoning him. Her idea to get rid of a 104 degree fever I had when I was younger was to hold me underwater. Fucking crazy.

Let's analyze some of what she said:

"We're fighting the war over there so we don't have to fight it here..."
First of all "we" is not fighting a war...Young men are fighting...nay I say dying...not her fat ass (or my fat ass). It is so easy to take responseability for the hard work when you sit 4000 miles away watching the 700 club in an air conditioned house. Plus recent studies show that the terrorist threat in America is increasing due to the war "over there"

"If the whole world were gay, how would we have children?"
I guess if we were all southern baptist republicans from the south then we could have children and then get them jobs as a congressinal page and fuck them.

"If it's in the Bible, then it's true. Everything else is man-made, and watch-out..."
Then I guess left handed people are evil, women are cattle, we should have a unclean section of our houses, resturants and public places for women who are on thier monthly cycle. That's all in the bible.

Just thought I would put some perspective on the situation.

I also sent this as a response the more I thought about it.




To beat a dead horse and further illustrate my point about the "If it's in the Bible, then it's true. Everything else is man-made, and watch-out..." comment...


1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
Female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
Of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
You clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my child into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7.

3. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
Pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2. Clearly states he should be put to death.

5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
Abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
Homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees'
Of abomination?

6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
Have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
Glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-
Room here?

7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
Around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?

8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
Me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

9. My friend has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
Different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
Garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
Blend).

10. I also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
Necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
Together to stone me? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
Death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
With their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)



The point of me posting this (which by the way the second blog post from me is not entirely mine, I found most of it on the internet) was to illustrate the stupidity which still exists in this world. I am (and was before this drama) fed up with closed minded people trying to force thier view points on me and those I care about. Our spiritual beliefs, our political views, our sexual orientaion, etc. are ours and ours alone. They are what makes each and every one of us an individual.

I am not prejudice to anyone. I hate everyone equally.

Now I am off to sacrifice a goat.