fracturedman

The Fractured report...Beer, babes, music, sports, tattoos, motorcycles and everything badass.

So I am reviving my old beerisms but will be calling it the fractured report. These will be done weekly and talk about various points of badassness. From babes, music, beer, and sports. I will be bringing you my view on these things as they pop into my large head.

This weeks topic:

Beer and bitching it up!
By Tom Beer

There is nothing more refreshing than cracking open a cold beer on a hot day or night. I have found myself many times cracking open that sweet nectar of the rock gods and enjoying the first sip as the cold, refreshing, and soothing taste of bitter hops and sweet barely sliding down my throat for no reason other than to savor that godly brew. I have tried more than a hundred various brews throughout the years and have met some people that like it, love it and sadly some that hate it. For those that hate it, I have a theory that everyone has their beer, there is a beer made just for you that is waiting on a store shelf for you to take that first sip and be hooked, opening the beer garden gates to never ending bliss.

Today I would like to discuss with you the error of tampering with beer. This is the biggest sin any beer drinker can do. Please dont ruin the beer by adding flavors that are not brewed into it or that arent meant to be in it. A lime in Latin beer or citrus in a wheat beer is fine, but dont go adding liquor or juice to that beer. If you have to add something to it for you to like it, dont waste the beer and drink something else.

This brings me to what have come to be called bitch beers, cheerleader beers, and such. Thats right, I am talking to you the guy with the Smirnoff Ice in his hands...put the put the cloudy berry bitch drink down, and pick up a blue moon. No self respecting man puts that crap in his body. Same goes for those energy drink blended brews, this crap is so bad for you and tastes like horse shit, how I know what horse shit taste like I do not know, but I imagine it tastes like a sparks.

I'll admit, I have tried these drinks and the only one that can reason with a man drinking is a mikes hard lemonade. On a hot day these are quite refreshing, but with the discovery of a lemonade beer the other day, I will be swearing off the mikes for good.

So please, go to your local grocery store that sells micro brews, take the time to read the labels to see what they are about and how it is brewed. There is a beer for you, if you need help picking something out, one can never go wrong with a blue moon or wild blue.

This has been a fractured report, defy the norm, defy society.