After 7am now here and I went from dinner and drinks, to drinks at a bar with friends, to drinking a bottle of patron alone at home while gaming. The reason why? Just finally hit me after month that I might have lost the most perfect woman that ever entered my life. I mean, nobody is perfect...she didn't like the same music as me and her views of tattoos weren't as open as mine but in every other aspect we meshed perfectly. Hell, she could tolerate my bullshit too for the most part. At first I didn't care because I wasn't going to chase after someone that walked out on me but after going out with friends a few times a week I've realized the chances of me meeting someone that even peaks my interest in the slightest in next to zero.
I'm left with a dilemma of either fighting to "change myself to earn a second chance" or let her go and risk being alone or in meaningless flings for the next few years or so. For all I know she left me to sleep around with other people or to be with someone else...the worst part is that I'll never know. She wants to work on ourselves then try again but I don't see why that couldn't have been done together.
I don't know if this is 10 hours of drinking talking, the fact that I really do miss her, or that valentine's day is getting close but until tonight it didn't really bother me much.
The only reason I put all this here is that I can't think of anyone else that would want to hear any of this. That's enough for today, I need a nap and typing clearly while intoxicated takes a long time.