Wrote a poem. Woo, yay etc. It's called 'Elizabeth'. Here:
Reaching across the dinner table
I find your hand
And my heart fills with a longing that send shivers through every inch of me, illuminating me with relief and desire and passion and blood drains away from my face and I realise
You are not attached
Table is overflowing with apricots
But nothing else
And the emptiness of being alone beats the cold blankness of the citadel I inhabit, and a solitary tear rolls from my eye over my cheek towards my chin and drops down onto my bare torso and it begins to dawn on me that
I am not at home
The room crumbles away
Into the ether
And I am floating through a sickly brown void in space punctuated by images, pictures of you ignoring me and pictures of you smiling and pictures of you telling me you love me and pictures of you waving with both of your hands and pictures of you crying as you masturbate and I am resisting
They write down
I cant see you and it frightens me
So I scream
And as no sound comes out of my mouth they continue to write on their notepads, that I am securely fastened and I am unable to move and I am hallucinating and I am reluctant to continue and I am obviously here because of what I did and I am deserving of this I am unable to speak from the drugs and I am a fascinating and I am perfect for the next phase and I am screaming
The name Elizabeth
Yeah, it's shit, i'm shit, hurrah.
Reaching across the dinner table
I find your hand
And my heart fills with a longing that send shivers through every inch of me, illuminating me with relief and desire and passion and blood drains away from my face and I realise
You are not attached
Table is overflowing with apricots
But nothing else
And the emptiness of being alone beats the cold blankness of the citadel I inhabit, and a solitary tear rolls from my eye over my cheek towards my chin and drops down onto my bare torso and it begins to dawn on me that
I am not at home
The room crumbles away
Into the ether
And I am floating through a sickly brown void in space punctuated by images, pictures of you ignoring me and pictures of you smiling and pictures of you telling me you love me and pictures of you waving with both of your hands and pictures of you crying as you masturbate and I am resisting
They write down
I cant see you and it frightens me
So I scream
And as no sound comes out of my mouth they continue to write on their notepads, that I am securely fastened and I am unable to move and I am hallucinating and I am reluctant to continue and I am obviously here because of what I did and I am deserving of this I am unable to speak from the drugs and I am a fascinating and I am perfect for the next phase and I am screaming
The name Elizabeth
Yeah, it's shit, i'm shit, hurrah.