Seriously, I wonder what the point of it all is sometimes. There's always someone younger, better looking, more capable than me..... I'm starting to feel obsolete. I'm considering a life, alone, in a wood cabin up in the mountains, maybe with a Huskie dog and a high powered rifle for company.
There's times when all is good, and then others, when I just don't feel I can offer enough to make anyone think I'm special. I'm like one of those lame birds who never quite makes it into a David Attenborough documentary, one who's dancing and plumage will never be good enough to attract a mate, constantly overlooked, a 'good friend' to all, a special someone to no one.
I know I'm being melodramatic, but seriously, I've tried to tick all the other boxes that I thought I should, and succeeded with most of them, good job, healthy, not to mingeing a dress sense, but I'm just getting broody. I want that special some one in my life again, and I want them to be in the same fecking country I live in, I just want to feel wanted. Not needed, but wanted.
I should probably shut the fuck up and go to bed now.
I do love this site, and the fact that I can just put down pretty much exactly how I'm feeling at this point. If I were to wake up after a good sleep, tomorrow morning, then go for a run, I'm sure I'd feel very different. But it's still this evening, and my legs still ache after yesterday's attempt at exercise, so I'm going to moan and bitch.
Sleep well,
x




Bollocks.