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firemonkey

London

Member Since 2007

Followers 52 Following 78

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Friday Jan 04, 2008

Jan 3, 2008
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Don't know whether to post this or not, but I'm a bit freaked out, and everyone on here is so open, I figure I may as well talk about it.
Woke up this morning to a text from a girl I very briefly saw at the end of last year. It went along the lines 'I don't know whether it's right to tell you or not, but I'm pregnant (by you) and I'm having the abortion next week. I'd like to talk to you, call me'
Holy fuck. This is a situation I have never dealt with, and have no frame of reference for and I don't know what to think or do. We've spoken briefly, there's not a problem, I'm going to offer to go to the doctors/hospital with her next week if she wants me there.
I have no idea how this happened. Well, I understand the mechanics well enough, but we were sensible, used protection. Now all of a sudden I'm a potential dad. Well, I'm a dad until she goes to have the abortion. Of all the times I've been stupid, (and lucky!), I never actually thought of the consequences. Now, I've been sensible, it's still happened. and I'm uttterly confused.
I mean, there's no way we would raise a child together, at least none that I can see, and she's already made the decision, and I agree with her. BUT it's still left me feeling really shaken up. The sudden possibility of being a dad, and the knowledge that the process has already begun has effected me in a way I wouldn't have imagined. I know having a child now isn't the right idea at all, but I'm also oddly excited and happy about the idea. And distinctly terrified. And still, the underlying feeling is a strange & quite strong desire to be a dad. Christ, I have no idea what I'm thinking, but it's unlike anything that's gone before.
I wasn't sure if posting here was the right thing, but I trust you guys, and your opinions. I'm worried that you might think less of me, for being silly and getting myself into this situation, but I'm here anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Well, 2008 has certainly got off to an interesting start. I think tonight, I'm going to allow myself a drink smile, if there's ever a situation that called for one, this must be fairly close to it.
Big confused hugs to you all,
D x
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
pinklet:
It was a good meet! ~You should definitely make an effort to get out to the non-london meets!

London will happen, just not as soon as i hoped. If i work in london again over the summer, which i hope i will, i'll look for a place while i'm there... will be alot easier!
It kinda difficult to organise stuff from the other side of the country! getting a little stressy!

So, u on Hellboy now?? Got any t-shirts going?? confused biggrin I know i'm cheeky.... but hey, if u don't ask.... ya know! see ya soon! xx kiss xx
Jan 8, 2008
vortext:
im sitting here trying to imagine the feelings spurred by that phone call. I hope you and her deal with everything ok. much love!
j
Jan 8, 2008

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