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findingparamore

Portland

Member Since 2010

Followers 4 Following 3

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Tuesday Jun 01, 2010

Jun 1, 2010
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Okay, so I'm twenty, I've been over weight since I can remember, I always understood I was larger than the other girls, it wasn't hard to tell, but recently I have realized just how big I have gotten and how amazingly hard it is on my self asteem. I did a crash diet, got down to 190 which I haven't seen on a scale since I was....oh, 16, got off the diet gained half of it back. I've been going to the gym nearly every night, paying closer attention to what I'm eating and all and yet, I'm not loosing, I'm staying, which is NOT okay with me.
My roommate doesn't help with this since we're the same height, she's my goal weight in flesh, and she thinks she's fat. Do you know how frustrating that is? Pushing yourself to the edge of sanity and hurting nearly every day just to have someone who is healthier and skinnier than you look in the mirror and say she has trouble spots? I AM a trouble spot! Grrrr.
So, today, we were at the gym and we spotted a friend of mine from church who tells me that a couple of the girls from church are doing a biggest loser challenge...hello Motivation?! I think so. So I took my before shot tonight in a bra and spandex shorts, gag me, and I weighed myself. I am so gonna kick all of these girls asses and don't you worry, I'll keep you updated. And once I get on a real computer I will show ya'll what I look like lol.
Anyway, I'm off to bed, just wanted to rant about my day for a minute!
Love ya, Stephanie

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    Tuesday Jun 01, 2010

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