finch

10. if you didn't see my last entry, you should look at it, so you can see my feet.

9. something i was randomly thinking about last night when i couldn't sleep: if you're going to initiate a first kiss (which i should note i never ever do), do not ask if it's okay, or say that you're thinking about doing it, or any of that crap. it doesn't let me get that fun anticipation feeling, the fast heartbeating, the wondering if it's going to happen and then being happy when it does. and i like those feelings.

8. pack pack pack. too much packing to do... i hope my car makes the trip home. i think it's way past time to retire her.

7. my feet are just an itsy bit sore

6. my friend burned me a copy of 'the young machines' by 'her space holiday.' i so far am in love with this album.

5. thinking about stuff, i've realized that i get hurt really easily. this is not a good thing, and i pretend to be strong, but when it comes down to it i don't think i am.

4. prom is one week from today. i'm excited.

3. i have 9 tattoos. you haven't seen all of them. sorry about that.

2. oh, that reminds me. rin, my belly says:
beauty cannot be as common
as all these glossy figures.
it's from 'beauty' by lawrence raab, which is quite possibly my favorite poem.

1. song lyrics for today: 'japanese gum' by 'her space holiday'

I used to know this girl
Who gave her love away
To every guy she met
With all those games they played
She never seemed to cry
She never got upset
And one by one they came
And one by one they left
I thought that I could fix her
If she would let me in
But all of my advances
Were shut down in the end
When days turned into months
I begged her to explain
And this is what she sang

It's not like I'm a slut
Or that I really like to fuck
I just want every boy I see
To walk away with part of me
Until there's nothing left to hold
Until there's nothing left to hate
I appreciate your help
But even you can't save me from myself

I used to know this boy
Who took notes in a book
But he ripped out all the pages
Before I got a look
At all the words he scribbled
At all the lines he filled
But the ink stains on his fingers
Told me he was skilled
At capturing a feeling
That most of us just miss
The simple pain of living
With goodbyes on our lips
I found one of the pages
Crumpled by her bed
And this is how it read

It's not like I am weak
Or that I don't know how to leave
It's just that every time you cheat
You bring me closer to defeat

Until there's nothing left to love
Until there's nothing left to say
I know that you need help
But even I can't save you from yourself