The roses in the window box are tilted to one side,
Everything about this house was born to grow and die
*sigh*
So, Fucking. Lonely.
Y'see, I've had a rough fucking year.
In April of last year, my girfriend and best friend on the entire planet and I split up horribly. Horribly. She left me with her stuff as she went on a still-to-be-completed trip to Edinburgh.
It was humbling, heartbreaking... but I'm pretty much over all that.
After it all went down, I decided that I just couldn't stay in the same house anymore and opted to crash on my friends couch and finish my film. After all, the editing system was in the basement and financially and personally speaking, it was the best idea to get into a place where I had some old friends and a film to work on.
Almost a year later, it was probably the worst decision I have ever made.
Currently I can barely look my old friends in the eye without wanting to grab their faces and beat the shit out of them. The worst part is is that I am in business with them and I am looking at a long year of working with them again on the Stargate proejcts, projects that are just as if not more imortant to me than anything I have right now. The film didn't do so well... as in we didn't finish and a shitload of sacrifice has so far been for nothing.
And it's painful. The fucking thing has been my life.
I was so broke because of it. I am just starting to crawl out of the hole now... and right when i needed money the most, my friends tried to rip me off of almost a grand because they didn't have the balls to stand up and ask a favour of someone they've known for over a decade. All they had to do was ask me to wait. All they had to do was trust me.
To top it off, my brother isn't doing so well financially and has taken my spot on the couch and these friends of mine, who have known us for the same amount of time, are treating him like shit and like he is a disease on the house. I can understand that it can be difficult having someone crashing on the couch all the time, but he's my fucking brother, man. Such a great guy. He is a brilliant musician and on the verge of some huge things and the way my friends have been treating the both of us have left me dazed and wondering why I surround myself with people whom I have obviously outgrown, both in maturity and in straight up honour long ago.
So here I am... stuck in a house I cant stand to be in, around people I want nothing to do with but have to be associated and work well with and all I can think of to do with my spare time is go to my coffee shop job because thats where the only people I want to be around are.
So I sit in my bed, staring at the ceiling, pouring through my old music collection, drinking water, and waiting for that phone call that gets me out of the house for a few hours over a bottle of wine and a real conversation...
...and maybe a new life.
And it doesn't seem a year ago to this very day
When you said if I don't change the pace I can't last another day
Everything about this house was born to grow and die
*sigh*
So, Fucking. Lonely.
Y'see, I've had a rough fucking year.
In April of last year, my girfriend and best friend on the entire planet and I split up horribly. Horribly. She left me with her stuff as she went on a still-to-be-completed trip to Edinburgh.
It was humbling, heartbreaking... but I'm pretty much over all that.
After it all went down, I decided that I just couldn't stay in the same house anymore and opted to crash on my friends couch and finish my film. After all, the editing system was in the basement and financially and personally speaking, it was the best idea to get into a place where I had some old friends and a film to work on.
Almost a year later, it was probably the worst decision I have ever made.
Currently I can barely look my old friends in the eye without wanting to grab their faces and beat the shit out of them. The worst part is is that I am in business with them and I am looking at a long year of working with them again on the Stargate proejcts, projects that are just as if not more imortant to me than anything I have right now. The film didn't do so well... as in we didn't finish and a shitload of sacrifice has so far been for nothing.
And it's painful. The fucking thing has been my life.
I was so broke because of it. I am just starting to crawl out of the hole now... and right when i needed money the most, my friends tried to rip me off of almost a grand because they didn't have the balls to stand up and ask a favour of someone they've known for over a decade. All they had to do was ask me to wait. All they had to do was trust me.
To top it off, my brother isn't doing so well financially and has taken my spot on the couch and these friends of mine, who have known us for the same amount of time, are treating him like shit and like he is a disease on the house. I can understand that it can be difficult having someone crashing on the couch all the time, but he's my fucking brother, man. Such a great guy. He is a brilliant musician and on the verge of some huge things and the way my friends have been treating the both of us have left me dazed and wondering why I surround myself with people whom I have obviously outgrown, both in maturity and in straight up honour long ago.
So here I am... stuck in a house I cant stand to be in, around people I want nothing to do with but have to be associated and work well with and all I can think of to do with my spare time is go to my coffee shop job because thats where the only people I want to be around are.
So I sit in my bed, staring at the ceiling, pouring through my old music collection, drinking water, and waiting for that phone call that gets me out of the house for a few hours over a bottle of wine and a real conversation...
...and maybe a new life.
And it doesn't seem a year ago to this very day
When you said if I don't change the pace I can't last another day
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
[Edited on Jan 23, 2005 6:52PM]