ARRRRRRRRGH. 
Why is truth so coveted and then so dispised when it is finally revealed?
If you'll recall, after my messy breakup, I had a girl that basically land in my lap and she was awesome. Amazing in so many ways. Someone I could fall in love with. We decided not to see each other in that way anymore, however (and I want to stress "we" decided, not me) and for the last week or so it has been *fucking* awful. I dig her and she's been a freind for a long time, but I made a promise to my ex not to sleep with any of our friends, at least while she's away. I respect that. The situation has been hard enough. Stirring the pot would only make the transition harder. And I'm not sure I'm ready for something like this again.
My ex really fucked up my trust issues. Im not sure if any of you have been through something similar, but my ex is now a lesbian. She cheated on me with a girl and instead of being honest with me about it, she lied to the both of us (her new girlfriend) and basically got her way. The thing, is I would have been okay if she had come to me. I sort of saw it coming and I don't really miss all that much about the relationship except my best friend.
But that's sort of beside the point.
The fact is she needed to figure herself out and I got caught in the thrasher. I have things to fix about myself and new places to go by myself and I dont want to drag someone else through the mess of my life as I try to pick up the pieces. I want to have sex. I want to have fun. I want to make the mistake of drinking my troubles away. I want to live a little bit on my terms for the first time in almost four years.
So when I told this other girl how I felt, she told me she hated me and to fuck off because she opened herself up to me and I broke her heart. It just sort of happened, and I do really care about her. I just don't want this girl to be the "rebound" thing. I want to be sure of myself and her and grow with her but I can't do that with a film to finish, a girl to move on from and a life to fix.
Does any of this make sense? Am I a prick for being honest enough to say "I respect and care about you too much to put you though my crazy life right now when all I REALLY want is to get laid?"
*sighs*
*edited after all my homies gave me the thumbs up*
Thanks guys...
Why is truth so coveted and then so dispised when it is finally revealed?
If you'll recall, after my messy breakup, I had a girl that basically land in my lap and she was awesome. Amazing in so many ways. Someone I could fall in love with. We decided not to see each other in that way anymore, however (and I want to stress "we" decided, not me) and for the last week or so it has been *fucking* awful. I dig her and she's been a freind for a long time, but I made a promise to my ex not to sleep with any of our friends, at least while she's away. I respect that. The situation has been hard enough. Stirring the pot would only make the transition harder. And I'm not sure I'm ready for something like this again.
My ex really fucked up my trust issues. Im not sure if any of you have been through something similar, but my ex is now a lesbian. She cheated on me with a girl and instead of being honest with me about it, she lied to the both of us (her new girlfriend) and basically got her way. The thing, is I would have been okay if she had come to me. I sort of saw it coming and I don't really miss all that much about the relationship except my best friend.
But that's sort of beside the point.
The fact is she needed to figure herself out and I got caught in the thrasher. I have things to fix about myself and new places to go by myself and I dont want to drag someone else through the mess of my life as I try to pick up the pieces. I want to have sex. I want to have fun. I want to make the mistake of drinking my troubles away. I want to live a little bit on my terms for the first time in almost four years.
So when I told this other girl how I felt, she told me she hated me and to fuck off because she opened herself up to me and I broke her heart. It just sort of happened, and I do really care about her. I just don't want this girl to be the "rebound" thing. I want to be sure of myself and her and grow with her but I can't do that with a film to finish, a girl to move on from and a life to fix.
Does any of this make sense? Am I a prick for being honest enough to say "I respect and care about you too much to put you though my crazy life right now when all I REALLY want is to get laid?"
*sighs*
*edited after all my homies gave me the thumbs up*
Thanks guys...
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
you really did.
i am just winding up a terrible mess where i wasnt told the things you told her, and it really hurts.
Anywayes... yes.. buckets of grease... are amazing! Glad I managed to step in one!!
And I'm not sure what they didn't pick me for?