fuck buddies are more reliable than boyfriends....
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I cried today. I hit my head, I had a bad day at work and they made me stay late, it rained all afternoon and the female owner of the boat is a bitch. and I cried. In the car, on the way home... I think I scared the boys. (which I didn't mean to....)
On the plus side, I sat with j outside in the rain while he smoked and had my first cig in a month, I was reminded that the world won't end tonight and that tommorow is a new day. I also got to hear lots of cool stories about traveling and boating and such. Sid cooked dinner and I actually ate a full meal. (it took two hours but I ate it.) i'm about to run out to the store because it's that time of the month and I'm outta supplies and chocolate. (Sid has a stash someplace... he was gonna tell me where it is, but I refused to hear of it. actually I just liked being sliped sweets partway through the afternoon... it makes mind numbing work bearable)
I also would totally dig a back rub and a kiss... yea... that'd be real good.
right. I'm off for errands.
ok. Back from errands.
The doorbell rings, it's some girl for one of the guys... a friend or some such thing... he mentioned to me that he's not diggin her so much. and he was sound asleep earlier and totaly missed her calls. Anyways, she's over.. and they're in his room. I'm filled with jealously. I don't know where it came from or why. maybe i'm just being a stupid hormonal female. maybe I see quality. I don't know what it is.
In the midst of emotion it's always hard to know which way is up or right or anything. emotions are beyond fleeting and they literally must be weathered. I'm confused and hurt and wanting a hug. Why do I always have to like the unavailable and far away ones???
________________
I cried today. I hit my head, I had a bad day at work and they made me stay late, it rained all afternoon and the female owner of the boat is a bitch. and I cried. In the car, on the way home... I think I scared the boys. (which I didn't mean to....)
On the plus side, I sat with j outside in the rain while he smoked and had my first cig in a month, I was reminded that the world won't end tonight and that tommorow is a new day. I also got to hear lots of cool stories about traveling and boating and such. Sid cooked dinner and I actually ate a full meal. (it took two hours but I ate it.) i'm about to run out to the store because it's that time of the month and I'm outta supplies and chocolate. (Sid has a stash someplace... he was gonna tell me where it is, but I refused to hear of it. actually I just liked being sliped sweets partway through the afternoon... it makes mind numbing work bearable)
I also would totally dig a back rub and a kiss... yea... that'd be real good.
right. I'm off for errands.
ok. Back from errands.
The doorbell rings, it's some girl for one of the guys... a friend or some such thing... he mentioned to me that he's not diggin her so much. and he was sound asleep earlier and totaly missed her calls. Anyways, she's over.. and they're in his room. I'm filled with jealously. I don't know where it came from or why. maybe i'm just being a stupid hormonal female. maybe I see quality. I don't know what it is.
In the midst of emotion it's always hard to know which way is up or right or anything. emotions are beyond fleeting and they literally must be weathered. I'm confused and hurt and wanting a hug. Why do I always have to like the unavailable and far away ones???
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
When it's behind you at the cramped as feck cinema, that's the time to worry.
Feel better.