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figmentation

"do you need shoes to get to the ocean from here?"

Member Since 2003

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Friday Apr 08, 2005

Apr 8, 2005
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I've decided. I like cuddling more than I like sex. this isn't to say that I don't like sex, it's just when the two are compared, the ablity to cuddle well ranks way above the ablity to properly please a woman... (now, if the sex is bad, the cuddling better be good, or else it's all over and done with.)

Also, Kissing is just as important as cuddling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I took out my nose ring today. Not quite sure why exactly I took it out... I miss it, but it's best that it's out. I'm going through a transitional period in my life that, well... it's the blessings of letting go of my youth I guess. Letting go of that which I no longer need. I've downsized the excess of things that I own, and my room has changed. I'm no longer a teenager, nor do I wish to hold onto the ideals that I once possessed. (Or the stuff for that matter)

I suppose it's an embodiment of " Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth."

Acquiring the nose ring was originally an act for myself. My father, after discovering that I had pierced my nose, refused to speak to me for three days and then barely for another two weeks afterward! Keeping it was an act of defiance against his wishes to take it out. I liked my adornment. It made me stand out. I was different because I had metal in my face and I worked at a coffee shop and went to college. It eventually became a part of who I was, and though I ceased to notice it after a time, others did. That bit of metal helped me make friends and hindered me from jobs and the corporate world, but still I kept it. Almost out of stubbornness but mostly out the comfort that comes from knowing that a piece of metal fits you, suits you, makes you more complete. There was also a desire to be adorned; to have something that not everyone else had, that set me apart physically. A something that might cause others to wonder if I was set apart in any other way. (What a narrow, unenlightened thought that is!)

It occurred to me recently that I am who I am and being adorned with metal in my face doesn't change me; though it may change the perception the world has towards me. (One can attempt to argue that it doesn't matter what the world perceives one to be. One's looks, where they come from, how they adorn themselves with clothing and jewelry, and what their education contains all matter; I can assure you that it does. Very much so.) But I realized that I didn't need the metal anymore. Maybe it had become so much a part of me that the physical existence of it need not exist? Maybe I "outgrew" it? Maybe I decided that I'd infiltrate the world that exists and destroy it from within and this is only the first of many steps to accomplish that??? ~.^

Honestly I don't know why it's out. It's a gut feeling that I needed to take it out, that I didn't need it anymore and I'm at peace with that.

(Though it was kinda pretty)



VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
_el_zilcho_:
Well, I know it shouldn't have anything to do with the shape I'm in. Is it just motivation to get in shape? I dunno. Ultimately, I think it's about my considered bicep tattoo. Right now, my desired tattoo would look like crap over my bicep. If I had my bicep of two years ago, it would kick ass.

So it's kinda a motivation to get in shape, but I don't want a tattoo that could look really good that ends up looking bad because I'm not the way I envision myself.

I guess with most people, tats and shape are unrelated. But since I want to be in good shape, and also have tattoos, it kinda fits. They are unrelated, but related at the same time.

I want the tattoos the way I am now. But how will they look when I'm toned they way I plan? I guess I just want to get them when I'm at my peak, and they can look their best (of course, I don't know much about tattoos and their relation to human physiology)
Apr 8, 2005
trevor:
My wisdom is debatable, and I hardly felt prepared, but things seem to have turned out well anyways. It's not every day you get to live your dreams. smile

-Trevor
Apr 8, 2005

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