My roommates care more for debate than they do for knowledge, information, understanding or compassion. It is impossible to connect with them on any level.
Two fucking fights in one week. I've just about had enough. Does anyone wonder why I'm so on edge and ready to fight all the fucking time? Nothing I say is allowed to stand, things must be assumed about it and when a defense is givin, it's torn apart. Maybe I'd be that "nice person" they accuse me of having been if I didn't have to prove everything I said beyond a shadow of a doubt. Every moment of every day that I am near these two, that is my life. It's no wonder they don't have many gentle humans around, they beat them until they can't stand anymore.
I've experienced what I've experienced and it's a hellva lot different from your experience. You havn't ever lived anywhere else. You don't know what life is. Get over it. Fucking get over it and if you don't wanna know, don't ask. If you wanna know, go find out.
The vibe all day, as a day (not the company) has been shit. maybe it's cause I dreamed about a storm and people and chaos and a garden being destroyed and being cheating on my significant in the dream last night. (not only was it cheating, but it was a group of really tight nit folks and no one told me.) that was the start of my day. How fucking great is that huh?
The worst part is is today I'd decided that I was gonna ride this out. To mellow out and revert back to the happy, calm, relaxed, gentle, giggly human that I know I can be again. I know that I can deal with this crap, and with these people who base the ideas of me that I'm deficient and just be me. Maybe it's being tested. Maybe it's character buliding. Maybe... shit. who knows?
ps. My boyfriend, the man who came and got me from texas, has seemed to have jammed. I know he's busy, but... if he's gonna have me, have me. if you don't want me, don't want me. but don't leave me hanging. (He's probally getting demoted)
Two fucking fights in one week. I've just about had enough. Does anyone wonder why I'm so on edge and ready to fight all the fucking time? Nothing I say is allowed to stand, things must be assumed about it and when a defense is givin, it's torn apart. Maybe I'd be that "nice person" they accuse me of having been if I didn't have to prove everything I said beyond a shadow of a doubt. Every moment of every day that I am near these two, that is my life. It's no wonder they don't have many gentle humans around, they beat them until they can't stand anymore.
I've experienced what I've experienced and it's a hellva lot different from your experience. You havn't ever lived anywhere else. You don't know what life is. Get over it. Fucking get over it and if you don't wanna know, don't ask. If you wanna know, go find out.
The vibe all day, as a day (not the company) has been shit. maybe it's cause I dreamed about a storm and people and chaos and a garden being destroyed and being cheating on my significant in the dream last night. (not only was it cheating, but it was a group of really tight nit folks and no one told me.) that was the start of my day. How fucking great is that huh?
The worst part is is today I'd decided that I was gonna ride this out. To mellow out and revert back to the happy, calm, relaxed, gentle, giggly human that I know I can be again. I know that I can deal with this crap, and with these people who base the ideas of me that I'm deficient and just be me. Maybe it's being tested. Maybe it's character buliding. Maybe... shit. who knows?
ps. My boyfriend, the man who came and got me from texas, has seemed to have jammed. I know he's busy, but... if he's gonna have me, have me. if you don't want me, don't want me. but don't leave me hanging. (He's probally getting demoted)
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
so have fun reading hehe
i have got the bike out, reoiled the chain, did some mainentance, etc. i did a little test ride a few days ago, it seemed fine, so yeasterday i road to the beach, which is about a 10mile trip. so for my first ride this season i put on about 25 total miles, and before it is even hot out. this was the first year i could do that, sicne i dont work on the weekends like i have the last years
wild flowers, so many they are all different colors, white, purple, yellow, orange, it depends on where i am ,
now off to the marathon i go (no im not runnning in it)
-click
I was trying to be funny or something like that. Iguess I failed.
Are your roommates just not getting that you need your space?
Everybody needs a place to be themselves and if you can't get that in the place you call home then where can you go?(stay in your head to long and they call you crazy.)
Now on to the zine.
Did you read what I wrote in wiggle's journal on why the last zine I did failed?
I want to do a zine that deals with labor,ecology,feminist issuses, indiginous struggles, and art from a far left standpoint.
I know it's nothing new but Istill think it could do some good for someone.
I have other ideas but I'll have to tell you in person if you really want to know.
I'll email you Elizabeth's # soon.
[Edited on May 02, 2004 2:06PM]