Awww... thanks you guys. HS is being evasive about everything right now... I can't tell if I'm disturbed by this whole thing or not. (actually I am, but by hiding under the blanket of indecision, I can atleast fake normalacy in that relationship which has no label.)
Something I've realized is as soon as I have decided that I want to move, the universe starts to give me reasons to stay... in the few weeks and days I've meet some really chill folk out here. I've realized that I will have more elbow room in this state than in that one and though it's all kinda crazy, I could actually plant roots and do well here. There's a small enough art/music scene to make a dent and though the traffic is crazy it's not quite impossible. The only thing I fear is getting a job about five minutes away from my place that will get me outta the habit of driving everywhere. ya. That'd be bad, though it would save on gas money. Also School here falls under the joke catagory for me. Sorry Dallas/Ft. Worth, but I havn't found any "higher' education that would make it worth it.
This is not to say I'll never be back out there... but I've been given things to consider here... arug.
Anyways, with going there, There's more traffic, less elbow room, people already covering the art and music scenes, and ya really chill folk, but a hellva bigger bill for it all. (Also a guy I like. which is another reason to stay here. ya. I've issues, I know. he's 'safer' far away.) *But* There they have better schools with better tuition (as a resident outta sight for my first year there), marginally better pay, more opportunity for advancement in the arts/music/entertainment industry, and of course the city that the world comes to to unwind... Not to mention hellva lot better scenery and a strong enviromentalism mindset. (we're not gonna even mention how dirty and polluted Dallas is), better trails for hiking and biking, Still the traffic is horrible and it's going to be harder to be known in a place that has more people in it period.
Sigh.
What does my heart say?? I think it's decided to hide under a blanket of indecision. Not wanting to desire one way or another for fear of losing soemthing... but also if it does not decide out of fear then logic will have to dictate. Logic, I'm learning, comes from a sober look at the emotions that go on.
So which is better? Which is more practical? Which would set me up better career wize? Which would I like to be in for Five years? Can I deal with being poor for that long? Is it worth it to take all that time and money and effort to seek out like minded people or learn to be where I am regardless of what's going on. (even though I really don't like it???)
life is really nuts sometimes.
anyways, feedback is appricated. thanks ya'll.
~Figment.
Something I've realized is as soon as I have decided that I want to move, the universe starts to give me reasons to stay... in the few weeks and days I've meet some really chill folk out here. I've realized that I will have more elbow room in this state than in that one and though it's all kinda crazy, I could actually plant roots and do well here. There's a small enough art/music scene to make a dent and though the traffic is crazy it's not quite impossible. The only thing I fear is getting a job about five minutes away from my place that will get me outta the habit of driving everywhere. ya. That'd be bad, though it would save on gas money. Also School here falls under the joke catagory for me. Sorry Dallas/Ft. Worth, but I havn't found any "higher' education that would make it worth it.
This is not to say I'll never be back out there... but I've been given things to consider here... arug.
Anyways, with going there, There's more traffic, less elbow room, people already covering the art and music scenes, and ya really chill folk, but a hellva bigger bill for it all. (Also a guy I like. which is another reason to stay here. ya. I've issues, I know. he's 'safer' far away.) *But* There they have better schools with better tuition (as a resident outta sight for my first year there), marginally better pay, more opportunity for advancement in the arts/music/entertainment industry, and of course the city that the world comes to to unwind... Not to mention hellva lot better scenery and a strong enviromentalism mindset. (we're not gonna even mention how dirty and polluted Dallas is), better trails for hiking and biking, Still the traffic is horrible and it's going to be harder to be known in a place that has more people in it period.
Sigh.
What does my heart say?? I think it's decided to hide under a blanket of indecision. Not wanting to desire one way or another for fear of losing soemthing... but also if it does not decide out of fear then logic will have to dictate. Logic, I'm learning, comes from a sober look at the emotions that go on.
So which is better? Which is more practical? Which would set me up better career wize? Which would I like to be in for Five years? Can I deal with being poor for that long? Is it worth it to take all that time and money and effort to seek out like minded people or learn to be where I am regardless of what's going on. (even though I really don't like it???)
life is really nuts sometimes.
anyways, feedback is appricated. thanks ya'll.
~Figment.
[Edited on Jan 28, 2004 11:29AM]