The girls were talking about life changing events a few weeks ago and I wanted to share, but didn't have anything that I was able to consisely put into words...
Simply put, the last ten years have been pretty damn crazy, all of the moving and hormones and changes and growing up and pandamonium and drama and changes and relocations and stuff and people and drama and hormones and chages... and well.. just growing up has been intense. I was going to write about that... as a whole as my life changing event...
Then I rethought it.
Last night while I was finishing up the moving boxes and stuff, readying for bed, I really started thinking about those years and the fact that I just made it through alive...
I was going to write about that... and no...
what I ended up with was this:
Apr 06, 2006 02:46 PM
"I've thought on this for a while now. and I guess my lifechanging event, was a quiet understanding that I came to possess last night as I was lying in bed, waiting for sleep to come... I was thinking about the last ten years of my life and how nutty they were. and how nutty I was and how many times I've made stupid mistakes and havn't thought things through and mucked things up and everything that's happened because of that. Really, I can say that I have really fucked things up.
Laying in bed last night, I started to guilt trip myself and I decided that no, I'm not perfect. And that's ok. I decided that I can forgive myself my mistakes and screw ups and oopses and fuckups. They are all in my past and I can't change it.
This morning, I wake up able to tackle to world because I'm not carrying the burden of gulit of my own humanity on my shoulders anymore. "
It's amazing how much lighter you are when you realize that it's ok to be you.
Simply put, the last ten years have been pretty damn crazy, all of the moving and hormones and changes and growing up and pandamonium and drama and changes and relocations and stuff and people and drama and hormones and chages... and well.. just growing up has been intense. I was going to write about that... as a whole as my life changing event...
Then I rethought it.
Last night while I was finishing up the moving boxes and stuff, readying for bed, I really started thinking about those years and the fact that I just made it through alive...
I was going to write about that... and no...
what I ended up with was this:
Apr 06, 2006 02:46 PM
"I've thought on this for a while now. and I guess my lifechanging event, was a quiet understanding that I came to possess last night as I was lying in bed, waiting for sleep to come... I was thinking about the last ten years of my life and how nutty they were. and how nutty I was and how many times I've made stupid mistakes and havn't thought things through and mucked things up and everything that's happened because of that. Really, I can say that I have really fucked things up.
Laying in bed last night, I started to guilt trip myself and I decided that no, I'm not perfect. And that's ok. I decided that I can forgive myself my mistakes and screw ups and oopses and fuckups. They are all in my past and I can't change it.
This morning, I wake up able to tackle to world because I'm not carrying the burden of gulit of my own humanity on my shoulders anymore. "
It's amazing how much lighter you are when you realize that it's ok to be you.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
i dont know how many fucking years i spent regretting and making a big deal out of my faults. its a weird catch 22 cause until you stop worrying about them you cant really change them
good to hear the fig is doing well. how goes the job search?