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fierhauk

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Member Since 2005

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Monday May 23, 2005

May 23, 2005
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So...weekend is done...i swear i must have drank a half gallon of various liquors over the friday/saturday night span...somehow I came out ahead without some major drama (no ex's scaling my back fence this weekend....course I wasn't home to supervise if it happened). Chico fell through so South Lake Tahoe and club Altitude won.

I was out Friday night, after collecting my `Top Shooter' trophy at the pool banquet...i am such a hustler...with Elise...yes...a name to my object of infactuation...probably more but i wont let myself admit to that until the obstacles are out of the way. Obstacles in this case being her fiancee... Anyhow... She also was in Tahoe that weekend (coicidence that i went up that weekend it was not) and i got her into the club on the guest list (I am friends with the MC and the DJ there). She brought her little man and we three just drank and talked and danced the night away...

Then he wandered off... I picked the wrong moment to steal a kiss...just as he appears behind her... somehow she talked him out of anything, even believing i kissed her... i guess thats a good and bad thing because it could have accellerated her telling him it was ending but no drama that night was good.

We hit the floor and they gambled a bit then they left to prepare for an early rise and a wedding. I kept drinking until 6 am....way too many kamakazis... got to the room around 6am and reverse-ate breakfast....then good sleep...

Fun weekend...now work...and San Fran on wednesday if Elise can somehow get away for the night...i sure hope that happens...

Anyhow....ranting..

-- why is it when you pay $3 for a breakfast they make it taste like a $3 breakfast....and what the fuck is up with a persons inability to cook eggs properly...the whites were runny goddamnit....no wonder i couldnt hold it down..

-- i hate that i had to find someone that i cannot spend nearly the amout of time i want to with them... it sucks because i would spend every spare moment with her but things prevent my happiness... oh well...all in time

-- sleep... its fucked up that when you get 2-3 hours a night for nearly 2 weeks and then finally get a 6 hour night you feel so rested....no wait...that rocked...

-- work... no matter how hard I work there is always a stack more when i get in the next day....that sucks or something.... goddamnit i want a raise...

So...i am at a loss...I should get food but I am still not hungry....maybe a liquid diet again tonight....most likely....guys night so its dice, dominoes and shit talking in my future....and perhaps a call from someone special to make the night worthwhile...
corymeyer:
1. Let me think. If I killed myself I would not realize the consequences for I would be dead, and if I killed myself in the right way it would give me an intense euphoria right before passing out, e.g. autoerotic asphxiation. And there is no such thing as a premature death, because we die when we die, no sooner no later. On the other hand, if I killed my mother, there would be the opportunity for me to have more experiences, for better or for worse, but with tremendous guilt. So... I would say I would rather kill myself. If you go out in life, go out with a bang.
2. That has happened before. They are always taken and I am never successful.
3. Travel the world, pack on the adventures such as swimming in open waters with a great white shark, fall in love once, and have sex the night before I died.
May 25, 2005

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