fieldofdepth

T came through the surgery just fine. I think she took it better than I did. But then again she had morphine. I was alone in the waiting room which really sucked. T's daughter was supposed to be there after she got off work but it's been 2 days and I still haven't seen her. She hasn't even called to ask if her mom is OK. She is so self involved. More than most teenagers. So anyway the surgery went well but in the recovery room some freaky shit went down. The nurse (who was an angel BTW) came in and told me that if we wanted to go home T would have to walk and pee. So we got her up and took her to the bathroom. After she peed she got up to wash her hands and blood started running down her legs. It was so freaky. There was a puddle of red at her feet by the time the nurse got there. One of her incisions was leaking. This happened three more times. The third time I lost it. It's not a cool thing to watch blood spurt out of the body of someone you love. I hope that was a one time only experience. But we're home now. Everything is going fine. I like taking care of her. I like being needed. I am so tired though. I'm afraid to fall asleep. Afraid she'll need something and not wake me up. I'm afraid that I might turn and hurt her. Would it be terribly wrong of me to swipe a vicodin? I mean, it's not like she can't get more.