wow i'm blogging a lot.
it once got me in trouble, and if you want to know about it than i'll blog about that next.
but like i said, i'm blogging a lot. and i used to blog a ton (tonne for you brits out there). anyways i like it. i like being a story teller. especially a true story teller. because in truth lies the best stories. real life is funnier than any comedy show. real life is sadder than the saddest movie. and real pain/joy is the only kind you can really feel.
and i like telling my stories to others, so that they can laugh and cry with me. maybe even they'll learn something. thats me, changing the world one person at a time, by learnin' them something good.
the one thing i learned from blogging, and reading others blogs, is that we arent alone in the things we do. no matter how weird or stange or whatever we are, we arent the only person who does it. now that might suck for you people who want to be completely different. a true oddity. but for people that have issues. people who hurt. if somethign bad happens to you, there are others out there who've been there and done that. and those people out there can help you with what ur going thru. because like i said, been there, done that.
but then there are funny stories too. i recently read one where a guy got drunk and stoned at a party, went to the bathroom and ended up jerking off and then shitting and puking everywhere but in the toilet. all of this happened while the door was open and while the party-goers looked on in disgust. i was crying i was laughing so much. that guy is the man.
i cant say i've read stories that have made me cry...usually i have to be close to someone to actually feel bad enough to cry. hell i dont think i've cried in a long while...but i do most certainly worry about people. and feel for them. and i'll try and help if i can. usually tho, its hard to help on the faceless world of the internet. even here is pretty faceless. we all protray ourselves how we'd like to be seen. i however try and tell the truth. like i'll tell you i'm a huge nerd/dork and i am probably, for my first tatoo, gonna get something that has to do with a series of books written by steven king.
how much of a loser am i?
dont worry, it'll still be a bad ass tattoo.
cause in my opinion, lifes just about doing what makes you happy. if you hate your job, get a new one. if you hate your boy or girlfriend, dump their sorry ass and get a new one. if you hate your car, light that heaping pile of shit on fire and buy a new one with the insurance money. and if it makes me happy to be a nerd and get things from books tattooed onto my body, than i damn well will.
in other news...
so a funny thing happened to me at work today...
we got the national convention of the elks in. which is coincidentally a bunch of old black men and women who are all also christians (some of them superchristians).
so we had some old black women in the restaurant and i was bull shitting with them. one of them was giving me a hard time and so i gave her a hard time back and then she calls me a jive turkey...
i swear to god. just like in that will farrel movie about basketball. the name escapes me at the moment, but thats neither here nor there.
so yeah the entire restaurant erupts into laughter...well thats missleading, the entire restaurant consisted of my servers, and maybe 5 tables of people ranging from 2 to 4 people. so maybe 20 people total got to see me called a jive turkey. all of which were laughing at me. now i thought it was funny too, not that i knew what it meant precisely (i had to go to black dan for the exact definition...it apparently means bull shitter, which i am), but everyone was laughing and i thought of the movie and it was funny to me too.
i need a translator, i have enough trouble with some of the slang i hear in the kitchen, let alone slang from like 30+ years ago...
apparently tho back in the day, if you called someone a jive turkey, and you werent joking around it would start a fight. sometimes it would start a fight even if you were joking...so i think maybe i should have punched that 80 year old black woman in the face...
whats worse i she swung by the bar after she was done with dinner to harass me some more. let everyone up there know what kind of prson i was. did i mention i'm a jive turkey? wtf?
also just to clarify, some people dont like it when i call people black and white and yellow and green etc. well too bad. they ar black, i'm white...well pinkish...and some people out there are yellow. and there may be a green person, and i want to meet him or her. anyways we call black dan black dan because he is black dan. i'm white dan, and he's black dan. there is also a big dan cause he's like 350 lbs, and there is a lobby attendent dan as well. so yep, there's 4 dans at work. we got to distinguish some way. and he doesnt mind when i call him black. actually, he gave me permission to say the word nigger. once. i'm saving it up till some time when we're out in public and i can make a scene. like by yelling out "look and escaped nigger!! catch him!" soemthing like that. preferably in front of old people and children. if i scar a child for life, i get extra points.
but every time i walk into the kitchen at the beginning of my day i yell out "my niggas". notice the difference? one ends in er and the other in a. very important distinction apparently. one refers to my black bretheren, while the other refers to slaves. i can use the slave one once and the brother one as often as i'd like. however i often refer to hikm as a negroid. you know, black robot. to which i frequntly start to do the robot with black dan.
apparently negroid is really a term which means coming from africa or some bull shit like that.
wikipedia backs me up with : "The term has its etymological roots in the Latin word niger (black), with the earliest recorded use of the term "Negroid" in 1859.[2] In modern use, the term is associated with "the division of humankind represented by the indigenous peoples of central and southern Africa"."
but i like black robot better. its more fun. and has the options for rocket launchers and lazers and the such.
well i think i'm done. not cause i dont have anything else to say, but because i've gone on for so long. it'll take you an hour to read all this, and if you did...
kudos.
you know how to read.
it once got me in trouble, and if you want to know about it than i'll blog about that next.
but like i said, i'm blogging a lot. and i used to blog a ton (tonne for you brits out there). anyways i like it. i like being a story teller. especially a true story teller. because in truth lies the best stories. real life is funnier than any comedy show. real life is sadder than the saddest movie. and real pain/joy is the only kind you can really feel.
and i like telling my stories to others, so that they can laugh and cry with me. maybe even they'll learn something. thats me, changing the world one person at a time, by learnin' them something good.
the one thing i learned from blogging, and reading others blogs, is that we arent alone in the things we do. no matter how weird or stange or whatever we are, we arent the only person who does it. now that might suck for you people who want to be completely different. a true oddity. but for people that have issues. people who hurt. if somethign bad happens to you, there are others out there who've been there and done that. and those people out there can help you with what ur going thru. because like i said, been there, done that.
but then there are funny stories too. i recently read one where a guy got drunk and stoned at a party, went to the bathroom and ended up jerking off and then shitting and puking everywhere but in the toilet. all of this happened while the door was open and while the party-goers looked on in disgust. i was crying i was laughing so much. that guy is the man.
i cant say i've read stories that have made me cry...usually i have to be close to someone to actually feel bad enough to cry. hell i dont think i've cried in a long while...but i do most certainly worry about people. and feel for them. and i'll try and help if i can. usually tho, its hard to help on the faceless world of the internet. even here is pretty faceless. we all protray ourselves how we'd like to be seen. i however try and tell the truth. like i'll tell you i'm a huge nerd/dork and i am probably, for my first tatoo, gonna get something that has to do with a series of books written by steven king.
how much of a loser am i?
dont worry, it'll still be a bad ass tattoo.
cause in my opinion, lifes just about doing what makes you happy. if you hate your job, get a new one. if you hate your boy or girlfriend, dump their sorry ass and get a new one. if you hate your car, light that heaping pile of shit on fire and buy a new one with the insurance money. and if it makes me happy to be a nerd and get things from books tattooed onto my body, than i damn well will.
in other news...
so a funny thing happened to me at work today...
we got the national convention of the elks in. which is coincidentally a bunch of old black men and women who are all also christians (some of them superchristians).
so we had some old black women in the restaurant and i was bull shitting with them. one of them was giving me a hard time and so i gave her a hard time back and then she calls me a jive turkey...
i swear to god. just like in that will farrel movie about basketball. the name escapes me at the moment, but thats neither here nor there.
so yeah the entire restaurant erupts into laughter...well thats missleading, the entire restaurant consisted of my servers, and maybe 5 tables of people ranging from 2 to 4 people. so maybe 20 people total got to see me called a jive turkey. all of which were laughing at me. now i thought it was funny too, not that i knew what it meant precisely (i had to go to black dan for the exact definition...it apparently means bull shitter, which i am), but everyone was laughing and i thought of the movie and it was funny to me too.
i need a translator, i have enough trouble with some of the slang i hear in the kitchen, let alone slang from like 30+ years ago...
apparently tho back in the day, if you called someone a jive turkey, and you werent joking around it would start a fight. sometimes it would start a fight even if you were joking...so i think maybe i should have punched that 80 year old black woman in the face...
whats worse i she swung by the bar after she was done with dinner to harass me some more. let everyone up there know what kind of prson i was. did i mention i'm a jive turkey? wtf?
also just to clarify, some people dont like it when i call people black and white and yellow and green etc. well too bad. they ar black, i'm white...well pinkish...and some people out there are yellow. and there may be a green person, and i want to meet him or her. anyways we call black dan black dan because he is black dan. i'm white dan, and he's black dan. there is also a big dan cause he's like 350 lbs, and there is a lobby attendent dan as well. so yep, there's 4 dans at work. we got to distinguish some way. and he doesnt mind when i call him black. actually, he gave me permission to say the word nigger. once. i'm saving it up till some time when we're out in public and i can make a scene. like by yelling out "look and escaped nigger!! catch him!" soemthing like that. preferably in front of old people and children. if i scar a child for life, i get extra points.
but every time i walk into the kitchen at the beginning of my day i yell out "my niggas". notice the difference? one ends in er and the other in a. very important distinction apparently. one refers to my black bretheren, while the other refers to slaves. i can use the slave one once and the brother one as often as i'd like. however i often refer to hikm as a negroid. you know, black robot. to which i frequntly start to do the robot with black dan.
apparently negroid is really a term which means coming from africa or some bull shit like that.
wikipedia backs me up with : "The term has its etymological roots in the Latin word niger (black), with the earliest recorded use of the term "Negroid" in 1859.[2] In modern use, the term is associated with "the division of humankind represented by the indigenous peoples of central and southern Africa"."
but i like black robot better. its more fun. and has the options for rocket launchers and lazers and the such.
well i think i'm done. not cause i dont have anything else to say, but because i've gone on for so long. it'll take you an hour to read all this, and if you did...
kudos.
you know how to read.