eyeball_kid

Due to my sinful lifestyle, God decided to send a Great Flood through my living room last night. Thankfully, because of my elevated design scheme (assuming a corner of my sofa's wooden frame doesn't rot apart), the only casualties were my copies of 'Jane Eyre' and 'Marvel: Five Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics.' The latter was a gift, though, and I'm pretty irked...
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Is there some some reason 90% of talk radio available after 11PM is fundamentalist Christian talk radio?

I just realized it's nearly July 4 and I haven't tracked down any lobsters to grill on their backs and eviscerate for Independence Day. So little time. My "Grilled Lobster-Back Special" is an annual treat for whoever's cookout I decide to attend. This year it's in Virginia, so I've got to not only track down some lobsters ahead of time, I've got to figure out...
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How obnoxious do the drug dealers across the porch have to get before you become a narc for reporting them to the cops? Thoughts? Anyone? Is leaving dirty smelling Birkenstocks on my doormat or breaking large glass things at 3 a.m. on a weeknight sufficient reason?

This website is going to have a bear of a task finding a worthy successor the talent they lost this week in Daniel Robert Epstein. Lucky for them the interviews aren't part of the pay package or they'd probably be feeling an income crunch during the next wave of renewals.

Took a trip into the city a few nights ago to meet a school-days pal I hadn't seen in 4 years or so. Turns out he likes cocaine a lot and can't stay on topic during conversation for more than 3 sentences or so. It was sort of like Army boot camp for my chat skills. Only he kept asking me if I wanted to...
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Easter Sunday was the perfect day to go see "Grindhouse" because I had the theater almost entirely to myself, save for the gaggle of 13-year-olds whose parents hilariously waved them on in to watch it. Witnessing America's impressionable youth be exposed to the wanton nudity and violence of Rodriguez's and Tarantino's masterpiece filled me with bolstered disdain for 13-year-olds and their inability to be quiet...
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Yeah, that's right. I reactivated my account. I had a change of heart and am now justifying the expense while I contemplate getting a tattoo. So it's just like subscribing to Consumer Reports now. I'm being responsible by doing it.

I just now finally bought New Super Mario Bros. for my DS, and I feel it appropriate now that SuicideGirls.com and the aforementioned should fight to the death to win my attention. That would be really hot.

I threw a bag of tea in the Hudson River today in honor of the 4th. Then I laid a lobster on his back and impaled him and told him that's what freedom feels like. Then I boiled him, ate him up, and when he comes back out I'm going to use him to desecrate a Union Jack flag. Damn it feels good to be...
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