Indeed i am keeping my emotions in check this time. Its hard, but im trying to distract myself with other things so i dont worry as much. ((*AFter posting about my day, i will elaborate on this more*)). Seeing as how my face has completely broken out, ive got that to worry about.
work was a pain in the ass. It took every fiber of my being to actually make it in to work. Just the thought of Clinique and/or Dillards makes me throw up a little in my mouth
So not only has Marilyn our counter manager quit, but Kendra got fired for 4 now show/no calls in a rrow. How quaint. They left at a great time...we are smack dab in the middle of presell and they leave us with their goals to make. Now, as opposed to my previous presell goal of $2750, i now have to do $3500. Thanks guys for giving us the shaft ::insert thumbs up:: On top of that outlandish goal, it is still expected of me to sell $500 a day, in a mall that is extremely low traffic. If i worked in Mall St. Matthews, that would be a different story, im sure i would make those goals with no problem, but im in Indiana....enough said. Tomorrow after i get off work (or thursday when i get off) im just going to drive around brownsboro rroad/prospect/goshen/la grange and apply to random jobs here and there. IT doesnt really matter what they are, as long as they are payng more than minimum wage. I refuse to drive from La Grange to clarksville every day. Fuck that.
((* the elaborative part*)) I want to believe that i really am looking for a relationship. I feel like i am, but sometimes i wonder. I was talking with a friend after work tonight, and he said that i really wasnt looking for a relationship, boyfriend, or girlfriend. He came to the conclusion that i just need a new muse. Someone to entertain me. Someone to fill time/empty space with. The more i think of it, the more i think he is right. Once again, that whole "stop living in denail thing" is catching up with me. But i feel like i put so much of my heart into "relationships" with people, but i will admittingly say, i do not give every bit of myself. I let people get close, but not too close. I keep them at a distance. I Dont know why. I want to break the wall, but i dont know how. It just comes automatically...*shrrugs* Now im just ranting. SO i am going to just go to bed, and try not to think so much.
"In nomne patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti, amen"
work was a pain in the ass. It took every fiber of my being to actually make it in to work. Just the thought of Clinique and/or Dillards makes me throw up a little in my mouth
So not only has Marilyn our counter manager quit, but Kendra got fired for 4 now show/no calls in a rrow. How quaint. They left at a great time...we are smack dab in the middle of presell and they leave us with their goals to make. Now, as opposed to my previous presell goal of $2750, i now have to do $3500. Thanks guys for giving us the shaft ::insert thumbs up:: On top of that outlandish goal, it is still expected of me to sell $500 a day, in a mall that is extremely low traffic. If i worked in Mall St. Matthews, that would be a different story, im sure i would make those goals with no problem, but im in Indiana....enough said. Tomorrow after i get off work (or thursday when i get off) im just going to drive around brownsboro rroad/prospect/goshen/la grange and apply to random jobs here and there. IT doesnt really matter what they are, as long as they are payng more than minimum wage. I refuse to drive from La Grange to clarksville every day. Fuck that.
((* the elaborative part*)) I want to believe that i really am looking for a relationship. I feel like i am, but sometimes i wonder. I was talking with a friend after work tonight, and he said that i really wasnt looking for a relationship, boyfriend, or girlfriend. He came to the conclusion that i just need a new muse. Someone to entertain me. Someone to fill time/empty space with. The more i think of it, the more i think he is right. Once again, that whole "stop living in denail thing" is catching up with me. But i feel like i put so much of my heart into "relationships" with people, but i will admittingly say, i do not give every bit of myself. I let people get close, but not too close. I keep them at a distance. I Dont know why. I want to break the wall, but i dont know how. It just comes automatically...*shrrugs* Now im just ranting. SO i am going to just go to bed, and try not to think so much.
"In nomne patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti, amen"
