evon

You know, im really starting to worry myself. For the past 3 months, my eating habits have changed a lot. Sometimes id eat to excess almost to the point of Binging. Other times i just wouldtn have an appetite. But consistantly throughout the past months, after ive eaten ive felt an enourmous amount of guilt and almost shame for eating what i did. And when i eat luch at work its usually a sandwich and fries. Afterr i finish eating, i feel huge, bloated, disgusting and just terrible about myself. Im starting to worry that im developing a poor self image and that it could develop into an eating disorder. Ive never had an eating disorder. Im a weak person so i cant starve myself, and even if i eat more than i should, the sight/thought of vomiting is absolutely vile, and i would never force myself to do it. Im just noticing the way ive started acting and its bothering me. Because lately on tv Lindsey Lohan's ordeal with Bulemia has been all over the television, and someone emailed me a link to a deadjournal communitiy for people with eating disorders. Its starting to freak me out. I meain, I am most definitely not a skinny girl, but I have curves and i embrace them. Sure i will bitch and bitch and bitch about needing to lose weight, but actually doing it is a completely different story. Im just not really sure as far as what i need to do in order to prevent myself from going down that road. If anyone has any advice, please let me know.

In other news, im about halfway done putting my synthetic dreads in. Im doing them individually so its taking me for....ev......er, but im getting there. Anyways, im going to get some sleep now. Update will come when i get more time and sleep, lol.