Had a lot on my mind lately, not necessarily in a bad way. Looking back on when I was younger so much more is clearer to me now. When I was younger I used to be filled with anger, I wasn't even sure entirely why at first. I figured I was angry at all the injustice, in my life and in the world. At the time it was necessary for what I was going through. Parents fighting all the time, best friend joining the Navy and me unable to follow. Sister essentially disowning my mother. Coupled with being 19 with no real confidence to speak of. Nothing really seemed to have any justice at all. So I just built up anger, at my family, at my life. This continued on for a while, then about two years ago I started to change. I started lifting weights and bettering myself. I also started to realize that hiding behind a shield of anger had lost it's usefulness. I was miserable, and I was tired of being miserable, but I had grown used to using my anger as a shield so I had quite a long way to go.
Honestly, I feel like if I put this into just one post it would be the longest post ever so I think I'll divide it up. More later.