I boil and I rage. I am a furnace of life and vitality. I must figure out what I must do with my life. As I make friends and talk to them. As I write and get things out of my head. I am learning and gaining. Transferring the innate to my conscious mind. I think first I must fully express all that I am or at least all that I think and believe. If I scare away all those who cannot take me as I am I will pull closer those who really do. Then I can figure out what I am here for. I know that I am different. I know that I am so different I must have a reason. At least I am here for the sake of those who need me. As I have realized in my sexuality as well as the rest of myself. I am here for those unique people that will benefit from specifically me. I am like a unusual taste. Not one you must aquire so much as a flavor you always loved just never knew it existed. A girl who just wants some sex can go and just find anyone to have sex with. If she wants to have sex with me she must want something far more than she can find elsewhere. Otherwise there is simply no point. Those who love me and belive in me. Those who need me, my help, my love, my understanding. They are people who cannot find it elsewhere. Who could never find it elswhere. Especially those too stong for everyone else. Those who may not even know they need help because they are so strong, and closed. Those who are sought by others for their strength and wisdom. Those people need help sometimes as well. I am here for many people. I am obligated to those who really need me. Ilive for their sake. I have more but I think I should go for now. I need to sort my thoughts. It feels like the beginning of time inside me.
