endquire

I received the presents I bought for my youngest sister and her crew. For my nephew I have some more ghostbusters minimates. He is really into ghost busters. For my sister and her husband I have polypropylene baseball bats. The cold steel brooklyn smasher and crusher. They are heavy and indestructible. I may have to buy my own someday. In the mean time if anyone pisses her of then they won't have time to consider their fault. Of course I will have to clean it up as that is what I am always doing. My other sister I guess I am buying her a french rolling pin and a mandolin. I was thinking about getting a bunch of sex toys and putting them together into a basket wrapped in cellophane like a fruit basket because if she and her girlfriend opened that up when we have christmas at my mom's that would be so hilarious I would probably fall on the floor and laugh until I passed out. just a pile of tears and convulsions. Maybe I should tape up the box for my youngest sisters gift and then cover it in four layers of black spray paint instead of paper. I need a shrink wrapper so I can seal someones gift in plastic then put it in a much larger box then fill the void with expanding foam so that they have to chip and dig the foam out of the box to find their gift. My favorite thing I ever did was to seal someones gift and sink it in a huge plastic container of water with a yellow powder across the top. She had to fish it out from the bottom. The look on her face when she opened the top of it was so great. Some of the gifts I had ordered for my nephew aren't coming so I am not sure what my plan is there. I don't want to celebrate christmas at my dad's. I don't need any more useless gifts or leaving my apartment. I don't need books I am not going to read with quotes or something written inside them. I don't need whatever other crazy crap he might saddle me with. In a lot of ways gifts are intrusive. I only accept things from a few select people. I don't accept gum or mints from people. I guess it is a sense a matter of what is appropriate. At work they are suppose to supply me with things to support my actions as an agent of that company. Therefore, what they have I take. not to mention the fact that they are a huge corporation that funnel the profits up to people who are already insanely rich. Although I do buy a lot of my own gear for work as I do things my way and I am not satisfied with their crap. Other than what is given to me by my mother and grandmother because I just can't get them to stop, they just do. Otherwise, I do not take from other people. Resources are finite, if i take from another then it deprives another of their resources. Then there are the instances that one cannot trust that a "gift" is just that in a genuine act of kindness or something. Most people are fundamentally dishonest to themselves and lack intra personal skills. They may believe that they are acting in genuine kindness at a given moment and then may at a later date decide that those previous acts of kindness obligate you to their requests of you. Certain situations and relationships merit and require the sharing and co-mingling of resources. Beyond that almost no one has anything to give me. That is in part why it is so important for me to give to others. Others may need, or merit some sort of giving, sharing, aid. What I do or do not have is only important to the immediate situation. Do i have the resources to deal with what situation I am currently in. If I don't I just make my way through the situation. Where ever you are is where you are and you deal with what's there by whatever means you have to. I just wish that it included more violence. It would be a lot more fun then.

My body is very under used. I have never pushed it to its full potential. It screams for extreme exertions.

I am always hungry.

"Because these moments, as beautiful as they are, they're evil when they're gone."