endlessly

I've lost count of how much I have drank tonight. But apparently it's not enough. I can't seem to go to sleep without a decent amount in my system and tonight I have been drinking since 2pm and I simply cannot find drunkenness. My buddy invited me to go watch this incredible musician play which I was down for. However, it just so happened to be taking place in the same venue that I took her to on the night that I kissed her for the first time. So, needlesss to say I couldn't relax while there. The guy was an amazing musician, but every song he played I kept thinking about how just a few months ago I was sitting on the other side of the room with her and........... well, you fucking know the rest. I kissed her and everything in my life came together only to fall apart in catastrophic measures. All I can taste tonight is her. All I can see is her face. All I want is to feel her hand in mine. And here I sit unable to reach the amount of drunkeness I need so badly and only wishing to wake up to her and her baby girl (daughter) tomorrow. That is the only thing that would make this aching pass. I feel a deep emptiness within me. And for that there is no cure.