Texted her today and we played tag for a bit. I was feeling really good during it but after I just fell apart. I so wanted her to say how much she loved me in one of those. I've been drinking like a champ lately but tonight I'm gonna take home the title. I didn't drink at all last night and woke up after two hours of sleep.......... and then was up for the rest of the night. I am in a state where I'm so screwed up that if I don't ingest some chemical support I can't even sleep on my own. How fucked up is that? Fuck it all. I don't want to feel anymore. To hell with this life.
emelye:
jesus, glad you didn't kill yourself that day.