Oh and the drunken debauchery continues. Another night of heavy drinking. Went out with my buddy JR who always manages to be surrounded by women when we go out. It's a liltle nerve racking for me considering where I'm coming from but after a few drinks I'm able to relax a bit and just have some fun. A friend of his last night was pretty...
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Another night of drunken debauchery last night. I found out some very horrible news yesterday and had to drink my sorrows away. Something I was sure............. well, I was hoping at least, that was for us and us only she is sharing with him. It simply broke me down. Was our relationship nothing to her at all? I feel like I was just a bump...
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Going to see the recruiter today, then I have traffic school tonight. Sounds like a great day, huh? Nothing much else going on. I just can't wait to get the hell out of here and move on with my life.
Late at night I keep having this thought that she's going to call me saying something has happened and she needs me. My answer would...
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Late at night I keep having this thought that she's going to call me saying something has happened and she needs me. My answer would...
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Nothing much to report today. I have a lot to do and am finding it hard to tear myself away from Brian's computer. He doesn't have a TV so he just downloads stuff then burns it to watch later. I've been watching Gray's Anatomy all morning. Not sure why but it seems that attaching myself to false mellow-drama makes it easier for me to forget...
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pillboxhat:
I know that there's probably a disconnect between what you know in your head and what you feel inside, but I think that the impulse to throw yourself into your work to get a promotion (from an earlier entry) is a good one. If you're like myself and others who have experienced something at least somewhat silimar, you may find that the next few months could be extremely productive, work-wise, and could consequently improve your circumstances (finances, accruing paid time off, etc.) for when you are ready to go out again. In the meantime, you have something to preoccupy you.
I know that that's little consolation right now, and I don't take what you're going through lightly. It's devastating -- not only the loss of this person but of the whole future you had together, along with everything that comes with that. But I also think that you know whatever it is that you need to do, and that you just need to find the strength to do it over the course of the days and weeks ahead. For that, all I can advise is that you go slowly and take as much time as you need.
I know that that's little consolation right now, and I don't take what you're going through lightly. It's devastating -- not only the loss of this person but of the whole future you had together, along with everything that comes with that. But I also think that you know whatever it is that you need to do, and that you just need to find the strength to do it over the course of the days and weeks ahead. For that, all I can advise is that you go slowly and take as much time as you need.
I really don't want to feel this way anymore. I went and talked to the recruiter yesterday. Hopefully I'll be on my way soon. I know you can't run away from your problems and you can never really start over, but I need to get away from this place. I am constantly reminded of us here. I want a new place, a new job, new...
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She said she would love me and only me forever. It hurts so much to be replaced so easily. It kills to just be forgotten.
cerephinna:
Just checking in to see how you're doing.
A good joke or a funny story?
Try any and all of Playground Law - a catalogue of all known playground insults - or
the bunny suicides.
I can't think of anything else at the moment but when I do I'll post it here.
Hope you're taking care of yourself x x x
A good joke or a funny story?
Try any and all of Playground Law - a catalogue of all known playground insults - or
the bunny suicides.
I can't think of anything else at the moment but when I do I'll post it here.
Hope you're taking care of yourself x x x
Saturday night - drunk. Sunday night - even drunker. Had to get an IV yesterday to make it thru. My bud and I drove to Detroit yesterday to pick up a motorcycle he bought. Kind of fun, but long drives just remind me of driving to go see her. WILL I EVER STOP? Wanted to go out and drink some more last night but we...
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So the infamous day has finally arrived, and I started drinking about an hour after waking up. Fuck it, today is just going to be about being drunk all freaking day. Oh, and the World Cup.
I tried to start the whole drunk-fest off last night with some beer, pizza and movies. Rented 'Jarhead.' Will anything ever again not remind me of her. I saw...
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I tried to start the whole drunk-fest off last night with some beer, pizza and movies. Rented 'Jarhead.' Will anything ever again not remind me of her. I saw...
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So, less than 24 hours to go. Tomorrow is the day that she and I were supposed to be married. This week has proven to be my own personal hell. I sit in this house all alone everyday, watch TV, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, and keep thinking how if I had done things differently (which is to say 'done them right') she and I would...
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cerephinna:
Hi
Thanks for the add.
Is there anything you can do today to take your mind off things?
Take care of yourself.
Thanks for the add.
Is there anything you can do today to take your mind off things?
Take care of yourself.
So I'm in Chessapeake, OH house-sitting for a friend and have had trouble finding a computer to use. Finally find one today and I've got two messages from people looking out for me telling me to cheer up. I must thank these people again simply for being such kind souls to take the time to look out for a complete stranger. That must truly be...
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morbidkitten:
i just wanted to say im really sorry about what happened and how your feeling. im not sure of the situation and why the breakup occured but its quite obvious how serious you are about her. things will get better with time i know you dont want to hear that but you cant give up on finding someone who will make you happy again your only 30 years old. try to take it easy and let things fall into place 
fedoradon:
You said
I never knew true love or complete happiness until her. Finding someone else in this world who makes me feel that way is not something I expect to happen.
A friend of mine once told me, You never expect to find a woman that makes you feel like that. You didnt expect to find Nim (my ex) and you wont expect to find the next one. Expecting something will only set you up for disappointment, so dont expect it. Just remember that anything is possible, and one day you may find what you lost.
Looking back it was some of the best advice Ive ever received.
Then again I also remember that it doesnt make it hurt any less
Yeah, so she called me yesterday. God it was so freaking good to hear her voice. I simply will never give up on her. She loved me with all her heart for over three years and suddenly she just doesn't feel it anymore? The way we felt about each other and the relationship we had is not something that simply goes away with a zip...
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The past two days in a row I have woken up very early thinking about her. I keep thinking that somehow I know she's having sex and it's waking me up. It tears me up inside to think about it but I can't help it, she's the love of my life. I woke up and tried to watch something but everything reminds me of her....
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