I feel so fulfilled by my job at the co-op that I don't feel the desire to do anything else. Usually I hate my job, and feel this urgent desire to do other things that have a sense of "purpose" or feel meaningful in some way, but right now I'm pretty content with just working. This is great, but it of course comes with a dilemma. During my time of un-fulfillment, I decided to rent out a studio with 2 friends of mine to teach yoga, build a "business" of sorts, and pursue other creative endeavors. Well a lot has changed since we signed that lease....a ton of drama exploded between the two friends, and one of them has become so caught up in her ego and greed that I no longer associate with her. (I can honestly say that she is the CRAZIEST bitch I have ever known!) So now the responsibility is left to myself and remaining, sane friend. We have both become very busy....I work full time, and she works part time but is involved in a million amazing projects as well as school. We can't afford the studio on our own, so we are trying to "rent" it out to other artists, healers, teachers...anyone who can help with the rent of the space by using it in a positive manner. But, I have very little interest in using it anymore....I have a lot of negative feelings associated with the space because of the tumultuous "breakup" that occurred, and I feel like my focus has shifted as far as yoga goes. I still enjoy practicing and I like to teach, but I'm not very interested in teaching regularly right now. Plus, the studio is so small that I can only fit 4 people at a time, so even if I wanted to have a regularly scheduled class I would have to work out some kind of system where I can let people know if there is room, or they'd have to "sign-up" ahead of time somehow....I tried that for a while and it was just too complicated. But I'm on the lease, so I feel obligated to pay rent and use it until we are able to find enough people who will use it on a regular basis, ie cover the rent so I can just dip out. Bah, I hate responsibility...I wish I hadn't gotten myself into this situation. I want my life to be as simple as possible, and I feel like it's almost there but I still have these loose ends to tie up. Meh. I'm teaching a workshop this weekend as my final requirement for yoga training, so at least I will be completely finished after that. Maybe having that off my shoulders will give me enough freedom to feel like I can put some effort into the studio. I have a feeling that the workshop might give me the motivation I need to start teaching again, because I know I'll feel pretty awesome after I finish the workshop. I must say I have a knack for it, teaching yoga comes very naturally to me. And although I have my reservations about attaching money to yoga, since "yoga" is not and should not be sold as a product, I paid a lot for the program and would like to at least make my money back. Ramble ramble ramble...
In other news, my birthday was last week. It was sweet, I was given 4 days off from work and basically partied my ass off all weekend. I'm not much of a partyer, and I don't ever make a big deal of my birthday, but my friends are freakin' awesome and made it theee best birthday I've had in years. I even got caked in the face, haha. Here's to 27! *clink*
In other news, my birthday was last week. It was sweet, I was given 4 days off from work and basically partied my ass off all weekend. I'm not much of a partyer, and I don't ever make a big deal of my birthday, but my friends are freakin' awesome and made it theee best birthday I've had in years. I even got caked in the face, haha. Here's to 27! *clink*
do your dharma
reinvigorate your inspiration