There are days and nights when I'm able to recognize my mental illness, I can almost feel separate from the depression. As if I can almost see it clearly like some awful invader. Then there are the days when I am the weight that can't be worked off. The shadow that can't be outrun. The days when I realize I am the invader. The times when I realize am the things I've done. Times when the things that have been done to me can't be forgotten, only endured in an endless fucking loop.