emoinside

so... in getting almost everything that I wanted, but Im still not happy. notice a said almost. Im not sure what I want to do, or what I can do. she wants me, that's not the problem, Ive got that. (and appreciate it). its that she wants them also. I understand the feeling, Ive had it my self (while with her non the les), but it doesnt make the pain any easier to deal with.
Understand that Ive fucked up in a big way during this relationship. to the point that Ive realized that I need some help with my problems. but Im not sure where my part ends and hers begins. I certainly dont want to blame the whole thing on her, but I dont want to carry the burden of all the problems on my own.
on top of that, me being depressed like this has made it so she doesnt want to bring me to anything, witch I totally understand, but makes it tough to embrace her new life here... I guess its time to build my new life here.
so fuck it. what happens, happens and theres not a god damn thing that I can do about it. I just need to meet new people, have my own life and stop obsessing on her. (Sounds easy, huna?).
so with that, I go.


Afterthought: Ive realized that Im comparing my insides to others outsides... not good, ill try stopping that 2.