emi

its not about anyone.

if you knew

quiet words
are better used when it's submission you seek.
loud, ill-tempered words would only heat my blood a little more.

when you stand so very close to me
speaking barely audible common words
whispered every day conversation
little small talk that no one else will ever hear...

you could control me, if only momentarily.

some girls think (usually the silly young ones)
that tough boys want tough girls.
not necessarily true.
hard candy hurts the jaw after a while.

not a revelation. a pause button for life. it's a frightening concept but we've all been there. i slept seven hours today on a concrete floor with the sound of dragonball z to my left, mid-day drunken antics to my right. for every cell of me that wishes it were wise there's two that embrace the silly and sublime moments and the occasional fear that brings me to my knees. it's exhilirating yet absolutley terrifying.

i'm shaky, anxious, and sleepless.
i feel like i need a shot of euthanasia.
what do you do when you're standing on a wire afraid to move forward and afraid to fall down?
i don't want to hurt myself again.
i would stop breathing.

i'm just a drunk vegan with a temporary walking problem.

i'm cleaner than i've been in years