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emi

Atlanta, Georgia

SG Since 2006

Followers 11817 Following 3144

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Tuesday Aug 28, 2007

Aug 27, 2007
0
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i'm not really one for sweetness.
the sort of soft-spoken, delicate word tip-toeing sweetness
that victoriana has convinced us all is becoming of a female.

i am not one for it as much as i am not one against it.

it has it's occasional uses.
say, when a man feels less than himself
(he loses his wallet or gets a low grade,
gets destroyed in a game of sports he enjoys...)

they like it better then.

some girls think (usually the silly young ones)
that tough boys want tough girls.
not necessarily true.
hard candy hurts the jaw after a while.

i'm not really one for sweetness, no. not the perpetual sort. not the obvious...
i've been called sweet once, and only once, in my lifetime, and that was before the person knew me hardly at all. or maybe they were right...maybe it's when i stop thinking about what i seem to be to others that i truly am what i am.
trail mix?
more so than jelly beans.


oh, but i'm so unfaithful to my feelings. i'm torn between what i used to be and what i am quickly becoming. i'm not comforted by thinking "i'm only human". because we're all "only human" so that is not an excuse.
it's not that i'm becoming anything less than what i was...if anything i'm gaining butterfly status. it's scary because butterflies have to fight the wind, rain, predators, where cocoons are for the most part safely tucked away somewhere inconspicuous. now that it's started i can't stop it...a butterfly with one wing in and one wing out will not be able to fly. it's all or nothing for me.

i've been awake all night and i'm fighting the sunrise.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
lolablu:
You can't predict how things will turn out when they're changing. That's why change is scary. But, from the little you've said, the sort of personal change you're describing sounds like growth, progress towards maturity. Be brave!
Aug 28, 2007
argo:
Sweet

biggrin

love
Aug 28, 2007

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