emi

there was this person i was there for
through all the petty friends
those who didn't really care
i was there for her.
her family appreciated that, and for that 7 years i was welcome in their house anytime, for any reason, just like one of their family.

now they say i've gone crazy and don't want me to go there anymore, don't want her talking to me, etc.

all because i'm a SG.

yet her dad has stacks of playboy and nude photographs on his computer.

i hate hypocrites.
i hate ignorance.

maybe this has put me into the thinking mood i'm in now?
whatever it is, it is rare.
i feel like something has taken me out of my body, carried me off into space, and sat me in front of a giant mirror...not a mirror that reflects what's inside of me, but everything inside of everyone.
and i'm not supposed to make observations, i'm simply to look and see and maybe wake up tomorrow and understand.
i want to jump into something. i don't want to do something crazy, i want to do something essentially human. why can we not be who and what we are?
social boundaries are chalk and i am rain.
we don't mix and they run from me.
i want to lie down beside someone stronger than me and gain some assurance from their strength.
i want a wizardly old man to put his arm around me and tell me i will be like him someday. youth and beauty are seasonal friends, but wisdom will stay with you forever.

i think i've discovered why i like to travel to places with strange languages and customs.
because i don't understand.
as soon as i understand those places lose their charm.