VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
double post6 because i'm pissed ......... skip to the end
Today we're talking about what people would look like in the future.
Did you know that crabsticks do not actually contain any crab, and from 1993 manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them crab-flavoured sticks.
I've been trying to decide what to get everyone for Xmas. I'm thinking about chocolate oranges. I may give them to all the ladies I know aged fifty and...
Read More
Did you know that crabsticks do not actually contain any crab, and from 1993 manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them crab-flavoured sticks.
I've been trying to decide what to get everyone for Xmas. I'm thinking about chocolate oranges. I may give them to all the ladies I know aged fifty and...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
robot_jim:
white chocolate is the MOST DISGUSTING sweet ever made. eeeeaaaaarrrrghhh
celery:
Hello pole dancer. Have you noticed how in our old age there are all sorts of injuries that occur because of everyday activities. It seems to me that everyday I wind up with a sore neck, butt cheek, or tooth. Am I falling apart? Its not the end of the world, I just need to stretch more and take less risks. Wait, no, I need to be more active and risk more. That way my body gets used to being abused.
Last night an amazing thing happened. It is impossible to describe, but I honestly felt like I was jumping off a 30 foot cliff. It involved running toward this cliff, jumping off and being caught by an invisible fence. You have to try to believe. It only works at night.
Last night an amazing thing happened. It is impossible to describe, but I honestly felt like I was jumping off a 30 foot cliff. It involved running toward this cliff, jumping off and being caught by an invisible fence. You have to try to believe. It only works at night.
My apologies in advance but i just can't help but fill this fucking stupid things out. They always make me laugh. Plus I've added in my own comments (formerly known as excuses) to make myself feel better about being such a horrific person;
( ) I've Never Been Drunk - This is obviously not true
( ) I've Never Smoked Pot - I spent my...
Read More
( ) I've Never Been Drunk - This is obviously not true
( ) I've Never Smoked Pot - I spent my...
Read More
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
celery:
Fanny eh?? Yeah, I ran into trouble with that one once. 'Smack you in the fanny' to us yanks means to slap someone in the rear end. Not to hit the precious reproductive zone of the ladies.
In Australia 'root' means to, 'do the dog'. To 'do the dog', means to have sex. In the US we sing a song at baseball games that goes... 'root, root, root, for the home team, if they don't win its a shame... for it's one, two, three strikes your out at the old ball game.' In otherwords, we have to be carful my penny sweet. But as long as your fanny does the dog, I'll root for you.
In Australia 'root' means to, 'do the dog'. To 'do the dog', means to have sex. In the US we sing a song at baseball games that goes... 'root, root, root, for the home team, if they don't win its a shame... for it's one, two, three strikes your out at the old ball game.' In otherwords, we have to be carful my penny sweet. But as long as your fanny does the dog, I'll root for you.
celery:
next
I'll love you all when I'm sober. The boys gave up at half twelve and I have no idea what time it is right now but it's not the weekend.
I'm gonna go pass out in a tupid place
I've woken up on the floor. I'm not dressed but I did manage to get my contact lenses out last night so it's allll good.
Here's...
Read More
I'm gonna go pass out in a tupid place
I've woken up on the floor. I'm not dressed but I did manage to get my contact lenses out last night so it's allll good.
Here's...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 51 COMMENTS
donut3000:
nothing
donut3000:
i dont think i would ever 'small talk' with a lady, well not until the 50th date. and then only about the daily temperature!
Hmmm you youngsters just dive straight in! outrageous!
i must admit to having 'phone small talk' with a girlfriend
Hmmm you youngsters just dive straight in! outrageous!
i must admit to having 'phone small talk' with a girlfriend
Illness sucks. Too ill to cook, feeling ready to vomit as I haven't eaten in a few days. Vicious circle. About to run out of meds which means unless I can get to see my Dr tomorrow I'll end up as a quivering wreck.
In other news, I finally decided to go buy the boots I've been lusting after for months and couldn't find them...
Read More
In other news, I finally decided to go buy the boots I've been lusting after for months and couldn't find them...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 75 COMMENTS
donut3000:
Monkey Tennis!!!!
tripster:
I had to ask to find out who Alfie Moon was and then I find out its SHANE BLOODY RITCHIE.Im not happy about that but it could have been Ian Beale I suupose.
"Your nuffin Elysia,Im gonna get my bruvva and theres gonna be some bovva,your in trouble nah you slaaaaaaaaaag"
HAHAHA fairplay it was a good comeback but"Have you got Jaff Cakes,one of those muffins,some of those flapjacks with the chocolate peices that arent really chocolate but look like they should be,give em to your dog or............an invalid"thats you that is.
Laters.
"Your nuffin Elysia,Im gonna get my bruvva and theres gonna be some bovva,your in trouble nah you slaaaaaaaaaag"
HAHAHA fairplay it was a good comeback but"Have you got Jaff Cakes,one of those muffins,some of those flapjacks with the chocolate peices that arent really chocolate but look like they should be,give em to your dog or............an invalid"thats you that is.
Laters.
Meh. A mere hours sleep. Meh.
*Hands shaking like Judy Finnegan whenever they do the wine club on Richard & Judy*
My family seem to be launching some kind of hostile take over of my life this week. Three family members who don't get along = three separate days of visits. At least I get free dinner. Do they not realise we live over 40...
Read More
*Hands shaking like Judy Finnegan whenever they do the wine club on Richard & Judy*
My family seem to be launching some kind of hostile take over of my life this week. Three family members who don't get along = three separate days of visits. At least I get free dinner. Do they not realise we live over 40...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 36 COMMENTS
abortion:
Good idea! There's alot of underground music just ready to break and a new scene will be upon us, the revolution! As a musician i am one of those who is destined to destroy crap music and bring back the culture of rock n roll.
We are due
We are due
tripster:
Shut up you dozy cow!
Its becoming quite a close competition between us its all tied at 1-1 in the I want to be alone and cant talk right now stakes.
No apologies needed.
Its becoming quite a close competition between us its all tied at 1-1 in the I want to be alone and cant talk right now stakes.
No apologies needed.
SYMANTEC EMAIL PROXY DELETED MESSAGE
Five words that I despise. For some unexplained reason, outta the blue, my computer will decide to start randomly deleting my incoming emails and hiding them somewhere that I cannot find them. Why oh why? This leads to people getting arsey with the whole "oh you didn't reply to my email you bitch" type thing when IT'S NOT FUCKING ME!...
Read More
Five words that I despise. For some unexplained reason, outta the blue, my computer will decide to start randomly deleting my incoming emails and hiding them somewhere that I cannot find them. Why oh why? This leads to people getting arsey with the whole "oh you didn't reply to my email you bitch" type thing when IT'S NOT FUCKING ME!...
Read More
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
donut3000:
you poor thing, insomnia is my enemy too (i have a few enemy's) my cyborg wishes have not come true 
I am old enough to remember a time before "Scrappy Doo" i remember his appearance, he annoyed the hell out of me then, and spoilt 'scoobie doo' for ever, scrappy doo is my enemies' too!
cartoon creatures on speed and coke at the same time are a bad idea full stop.
I am old enough to remember a time before "Scrappy Doo" i remember his appearance, he annoyed the hell out of me then, and spoilt 'scoobie doo' for ever, scrappy doo is my enemies' too!
cartoon creatures on speed and coke at the same time are a bad idea full stop.
donut3000:
how is that possible 
i was only 8 or 10? is this another of you evil super powers???
?
i was only 8 or 10? is this another of you evil super powers???
?
" The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 25 of 39 COMMENTS
tripster:
Ive been there to watch football but never out on the lash.And once trying to find the Hacienda but getting wasted before we got there made it impossible and some how ended up in a warehouse party in Liverpool.I dont know how before you ask!
tripster:
Am I spoiling the perfect image you once had of me.
Today I have been an angry windswept vegetarian.
It is no longer possibly to buy any kind of Quorn or Tofu product without travelling a minimum of 4 miles in any direction from my house despite the 7 or 8 supermarkets within that radius.
I decided to take this out on the Manager of the Tesco Metro who was unaware as to what Quorn or...
Read More
It is no longer possibly to buy any kind of Quorn or Tofu product without travelling a minimum of 4 miles in any direction from my house despite the 7 or 8 supermarkets within that radius.
I decided to take this out on the Manager of the Tesco Metro who was unaware as to what Quorn or...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
donut3000:
anger and red hair (ok pink) are good assets to have in life! Do you own your own flame thrower? or do you rent?
Im getting to think you must be some sort of batman villain.
Im getting to think you must be some sort of batman villain.
donut3000:
yes that evil villain thing tends to stand out!
plus you disintegrating that tesco manager was on newsnight!
Ill be fine, just agitated thanx 4 askin
plus you disintegrating that tesco manager was on newsnight!
Ill be fine, just agitated thanx 4 askin
We need 50 members of 15 SGs to comment on my journal. The pics will appear in his journal next week!
Please commenton my or, if you like the more info or the story behind this whole deal you can also click the link below!
To get him naked click HERE!!