"Jesus ... more hobbly hoys ... they're all over the place like a nest of pigs"
Went to the ex fiancees party. Drank Stowford Press, sat with his family and watched his band play. Went and sat in the toilets to call the best friend to remind me why I'm not with the ex anymore. Left a drink and escaped to the bar next door... Read More
Death to warm drinks!
Why do they still do that in this country? you go into a pub (generally of a distinct type) and order a JD and Coke and you receive something which is about two inches tall, and the same temperature as blood! THIS IS NOT A DRINK! it's a waste of everybodies time!
"Everyone knows that if the female genitalia could speak it would sound exactly like Enya"
Top 5 things I have learnt today:
(1) My mother is an evil witch
I have had many points in my life where I have disliked my family greatly for being a bunch of assholes, but today my mother crossed a line. If we never speak again that will be... Read More
"Seems? Well this seems to be a waste of my time.
That's nine hundred nicker in any shop that you're lucky enough to find one in, and you're complaining about two hundred?
What school of finance did you study?
It's a deal, it's a steal, it's sale of the fucking century .... in fact fuck it Nick I think I'll keep it"
Asda attempted to charge an ex flatmate 96 for a loaf of bread. Apparently they print a label for the batch of loafs i.e. 100 X 0.96p... makes you wonder...
I spent 35 on 7 DVDs. Comparitive bargain.
I once dressed in an intergalactic costume. It split. Thsoe white polytech suits aren't to strong to dance in. The flourescent yellow tape held it all together though.
Pixies 'Where is My Mind' and Violent Femmes "Blister in the Sun" were the songs we always used to request in the Dungeon back in Southampton.
Great Alan P quote. I'm thinking of the Cow carcass being dropped from the bridge now.
It is a sack that clips around your waist like a belt. The sack part is usually only about your rump. The rump is also the fanny or your ass. It is a ass sack.
SLAP IT
From my recollection I spent about;
♥ 7 months of it depressed and not getting any help
♥ 3 months of it actively suicidal
♥ The last 2 months... Read More
It's the first New Years Eve that I haven't worked in as long as I can remember and tonight I will be doing sweet FA
I can't be doing with the hassle. Everyone seems to have gone a bit mental since I announced that I'm moving. The way they're going on and on you'd think I was dying.... Read More
What is felching? I have my own idea but I can never be sure exactly what the act of felchery entails.
You are constantly sick. What's up with that?
I too saw charlie and the fudge factory and found it wonderful. The grandpa is my hero, I played him in a live performance once.
ME ME ME
That's a terrible soap line! Eastenders has been scraping the ground beneath the scratched out barrel recently though.
I really liked the new CatCF, with Tim Burton and Johnny Depps work... lots of people didn't. OK, they changed the story a lot, but I thought it was a great film.
New Steve Coagan film? I think I missed something? What, when??
I popped out yesterday at 11am to accomplish three things;
(1) buy vegetables
(2) have fringe cut
(3) buy present for sister
I did not manage to do any of the above but did get home at half past five this morning more utterly fucked than I have ever been in my entire life. I also returned home... Read More
Don't encourage me woman! For gods sake, the drink n'drugs n' pretty girls are vice's enough, i'll end up destitute and homeless, with great big fuckers looking to break my toes because 'their employer' is very unhappy!
Have a cracking new year lady! i'm sure you'll enjoy yourself!
Me i'm off to dress up as a ninja (or Biggles)!
"Paul Roberts. You know Paul ... shoulder length hair, wears a lot of jewellery, looks up a lot ... shops at Mothercare ... that's right ... Umpa lumpa"
It's my favourite night out of the year and I'm stuck at home ill ... and bored so decided to fill out that quiz thing that's going round ...
"You smell like meat and cheese ... you're not Santa"
I love the new 'Suicide Girls Steal Xmas' video. It is fucking excellent
I have sucessfully fucked up Christmas .. and it was unintentional!
I've been ill on and off for the last few months but have been tackling it with Jack Daniels and cigarettes. Apparentely this doesn't work and I am now quite ill.... Read More
*does a dance* .... And that's why I don't like cricket
I think it's safe to say that I have watched far too much Boosh this week. It occured to me last night when I realised that I had gone out dressed like an extra from Electro with fookin massive Vince Noir hair ... a look which apparentely works for me.
dont hold your breath
Why do they still do that in this country? you go into a pub (generally of a distinct type) and order a JD and Coke and you receive something which is about two inches tall, and the same temperature as blood! THIS IS NOT A DRINK! it's a waste of everybodies time!
Sometimes i dream of an ice-maker!